Left (Tie).
なを冴ゆるけしきにしるし山ざくらまだ冬ごもる梢なるらん
| nao sayuru keshiki ni shirushi yamazakura mada fuyugomoru kozue naruran |
Still so clear Is the scene: it must be a sign that Mountain cherries are Yet sealed in winter, Outstanding on the treetops… |
13
Right (Tie).
したふべき冬には雪のをくれゐて春ともいはず冴えわたるらん
| shitaubeki fuyu ni wa yuki no okureite haru tomo iwazu saewataruran |
How it must long for Winter – the snow Remains, Though ‘tis spring, needless to say: That is clear, indeed! |
The Provisional Assistant Master of the Empress’ Household Office
14
The Right state that as the entirety of the topic is expressed in the first line of the Left’s poem, it lack care [nen nashi]. The Left respond that saying that the characters of the topic appear in the first line of our poem suggest the Right is unable to count correctly! As for the Right’s poem, we find no particular faults, but it is ordinary [mezurashiki ni arazu].
Shunzei’s judgement: The form of both poems is splendid [sugata wa yū ni koso haberumere]. In general, the mass of modern composition, whether or not it shows understanding of the form and diction of poetry [kinrai no utayomi no tomogara, sugata kotoba wa shireru ka shirazaru ka], also frequently fails to show enough attention to details of techique [bimyō no fūjō] and that I have cause to say this is certainly not laudable [kanshin serezaru koto]. However, the Right’s ‘the snow remains’ (yuki no okureite), seems somewhat contrived [sukoshi omoubeku], though the final one is excellent [yoroshikuhaberu]. Thus, it’s impossible to distinguish between the two poems.