Left (Win).
やすらひに出にし人の通ひ路を古き野原と今日は見る哉
| yasurai ni idenishi hito no kayoiji o furuki nohara to kyō wa miru kana |
He hesitated To set off along That path, to and fro, but As it once was – an untrodden plain – Does it seem today… |
745
Right.
知らざりき今はいひし曉をやがてまことの言の葉ぞとは
| shirazariki ima wa iishi akatsuki o yagate makoto no koto no ha zo to wa |
I did not know it then, that When he said, ‘Now’s the time,’ At that dawning, Finally, the truth of Those words would come to me… |
746
The Gentlemen of the Right state: the Left, by commencing with ‘he hesitated’ (yasurai ni), seems rather abrupt. The Left state they find no faults to mention.
In judgement: What might be abrupt about the beginning of the Left’s poem? By beginning so, it gives the impression that something must have come before. There is no doubt that it is an abrupt beginning. The Right appears to be a standard form of poem utilising related meanings, but simply has ‘words’ (koto no ha) with no connections to anything. The Left’s ‘as it once was – an untrodden plain’ (furuki nohara) seems fine. It should win.