Left (Tie)
うらやましわがりこちくと笛の音を頼むる中の人は聞くらん
urayamashi
wagari kochiku to
fue no ne o
tanomuru naka no
hito wa kikuran |
O, how I envious I am!
To my house comes, a bamboo
Flute’s strains – from
A trustworthy, loving
Man, it sounds… |
Lord Suetsune
1087
Right
より竹の君によりけんことぞ憂き一夜のふしに音のみ泣かれて
yoritake no
kimi ni yoriken
koto zo uki
hitoyo no fushi ni
ne nomi nakarete |
Bamboo flotsam –
That you should draw near
Is cruel, indeed, for
A single night together, brings
Only the sound of weeping… |
Lord Tsune’ie
1088
‘Flotsam of bamboo’ (yoritake) and ‘comes, a bamboo’ (kochiku) are equally unsatisfying.
In judgement: ‘Flotsam of bamboo’ and ‘comes, a bamboo’ are of equal quality.
Left (Win)
さらぬだに身にしむ夜はの笛の音を憂き人ゆへに聞き明かしつる
saranu dani
mi ni shimu yowa no
fue no ne o
ukibito yue ni
kiki akashitsuru |
Even were I not so in love,
On a night that chills the soul
The strains of a flute
For that cruel one
Drift to me ‘til the dawn… |
Lord Kanemune
1085
Right
我ゆへに思はぬ夜はの笛の音も藻に棲む虫と袖は濡れけり
ware yue ni
omowanu yowa no
fue no ne mo
mo ni sumu mushi to
sode wa nurekeri |
For my sake
I did not think this night
The flute’s strains –
A shrimp among the seaweed –
Soak the sleeves. |
Jakuren
1086
The Right state: the Left’s poem is overly lacking in thought. The Left state: no faults.
In judgement: the Left has ‘for that cruel one’ (ukibito yue ni) – does this mean perhaps that one is unable to sleep as a result of someone’s cruelty? The reference to ‘a shrimp among the seaweed’ (mo ni sumu mushi) in the Right’s latter section feels overly abrupt and sounds lacking in connection to anything else in the poem. ‘That cruel one’ sounds somewhat insufficient, but it certainly has no faults. Thus, the Left wins.
'Simply moving and elegant'