koishinan inochi o tare ni yuzuri’okite tsurenaki hito no hate o misemashi
Likely dying of love, My life, to whom should I Consign? That cruel girl’s Ending—would that show it to her?
Shun’e
51
Right (Win)
つれもなき人はおもひもすてられでうき身のみこそなげまほしけれ
tsure mo naki hito wa omoi mo suterarede ukimi no mi koso nagemahoshikere
So cruel is That girl, but my passion for her I cannot abandon; It is my pitiful self that I would wish to throw away!
Kenshō
52
The Left isn’t bad, but it’s a bit cliched. As for the Right, having both ‘abandon’ and ‘throw away’ could be a fault and yet the conception of one ‘abandoning passion’ is different. Whichever way you look at it, it wins.
yuki fukami shizu no fuseya mo uzumorete keburi bakari zo shirushi narikeru
Snow so deep that The peasants’ huts, too, Are buried, and The smoke, alone, is Their only sign!
Kinshige 45
Right
花の春もみぢの秋もしるかりし松の木ずゑもみえぬ白雪
hana no haru momiji no aki mo shirukarishi matsu no kozue mo mienu shirayuki
By blossom is spring, and By scarlet leaves is autumn Known— The treetops of the pines Invisible with snow, so white.
Kūnin 46
The Left poem’s conception of ‘sign of smoke’ sounds particularly profound. As for the Right, it is possible for enough snow to fall to conceal a pine’s lower leaves, too, so the poem does not sound satisfying.
uchiharau makura no chiri mo kakurenaku aretaru yado o terasu tsukikage
Needing to be swept away, The dust upon my pillow Cannot be concealed In my dilapidated dwelling, when The moonlight shines within…
Taifu 37
Right
秋の夜の月みる袖におく露やひるにかはれるしるしなるらん
aki no yo no tsuki miru sode ni oku tsuyu ya hiru ni kawareru shirushi naruran
On an autumn night Upon my sleeves, when gazing at the moon, Fall dewdrops— That all is changed from daytime Might they be a sign?
Yorisuke 38
In both the moon is bright, and I feel they reflect the essential meaning of the topic, but as its diction is currently slightly more familiar, I make the Left the winner. It would be possible to call this a tie, too, though.