Tag Archives: Mount Shinobu

Love VII: 3

Left (Win).
戀ゆへに憂き世を捨て隱れなば忍ぶの山やすみかなるべき

koi yue ni
ukiyo o sutete
kakurenaba
shinobu no yama ya
sumika narubeki
If for love
I should depart this cruel world
And hide myself away,
Would Mount Shinobu
Then become my dwelling?

Lord Kanemune.
965

Right.
夢にだにまだふみも見ぬ忍山深き戀路をいかで尋ん

yume ni dani
mada fumi mo minu
shinobuyama
fukaki koiji o
ikade tazunen
Even in my dreams
Have I yet to tread – or send a note – so why
Do I to Mount Shinobu’s
Deep paths of love
Pay a visit?

Lord Takanobu.
966

Both Left and Right together state there are no faults to indicate in the opposing poem.

In judgement: I do wonder about the Left’s use of ‘and hide myself away’ (kakurenaba), but in addition to the Right’s ‘Have I yet to tread – or send a note’ (mada minu fumi) certainly evoking ‘the paths of Ikuno lie far away’ (ikuno no michi no tōkereba), ‘why to deep paths of love pay a visit’ (fukaki koiji o ikade tazunen), sounds as if the poet is wondering whether his love is shallow or not. The Left should win.