Left.
雨降れど笠取山の鹿の音はなかなかよその袖濡らしけり
| ame furedo kasatoriyama no shika no ne wa nakanaka yoso no sode nurashikeri |
Though rain falls on Kasatori Mountain, with an umbrella in my hand, it is The stag’s call, Distant, that Has left dampness on my sleeves… |
361
Right.
さらぬだに秋のあはれは絶えせぬに心細さを添ふる雨かな
| saranu dani aki no aware wa taesenu ni kokorobososa o souru ame kana |
It should not be so, yet Autumn wrenches at my heart, so I cannot bear it; Loneliness Brought on by the rain… |
362
The Right have two criticisms of the Left’s poem: ‘The initial five syllables have no link with the end of the poem. Furthermore, we question the use of “distant” (yoso). The Left merely say that they find the Right’s poem ‘unremarkable’.
Shunzei broadly agrees: ‘The lack of linkage in the Left’s poem is as stated – although it starts “Though rain falls on” (ame furedo), it seems as if the poet’s sleeves were wet by the stag’s call, and thus the poem does not appear to be composed on the theme of “rain”. Whatever the formal faults of the Right’s poem, it is composed on “Autumn Rain”. It must win.’