Autumn II: 21

Left (Win).


toki shimo are
nezame no sora ni
shigi tachite
aki no aware o
It always seems that
On waking, to the skies
The snipe are starting;
All of autumn’s sorrows
Do they sweep together…

Lord Ari’ie.




akenu to ya
onaji kokoro ni
kadota no shigi mo
ima zo hane kaku
Is it that with the dawn,
Just as I,
They must make speed?
The snipe outwith my gates
Are now their wings a’beating.

Lord Tsune’ie.


The Right state, ‘Though the Left’s “Do they sweep together” (kakiatsumuran) was used in older compositions, it does not sound good.’ The Left reply, ‘Why have the Right used “make speed” (isogu), when the topic of the poem is not “Travel”?’

Shuzei’s judgement: ‘The Left’s poem on “Snipe” has the lines All of autumn’s sorrows do they sweep together” (aki no aware o kakiatsumuran), and this is more redolent of hunters gathering bedding, or fisher-folk gathering seaweed for salt, however, the point about the Right’s use of “the snipe outwith my gates”, despite the topic not being “Travel”, “just as I they must make speed”, is very well made. The Left wins by a hair.’

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