Tag Archives: snipe

Rokujō sai’in baishi naishinnō ke uta’awase 9

Left
たれか又暁ごとに夢さめて羽掻く鴫の声を聞くらむ

tareka mata
akatuki goto ni
yume samete
Fane kaku sigi no
kowe wo kikuramu
Who is it that yet
With every single dawn
Awakens from her dreams, and
The wing-beating snipes’
Cries does hear?

Koma
小馬
17

Right
我ならで誰か聞くらむ暁の羽掻く鴫の数を尽くして

ware narade
tare ka kikuramu
akatuki no
Fane kaku sigi no
kazu wo tukusite
If not I, then
Who is it that will hear?
With the dawn
The snipes’ wing-beats
Coming to an end…

Saemon
左衛門
18

Autumn II: 24

Left (Win).

浪寄する澤の蘆邊をふし侘て風に立つなり鴫の羽がき

nami yosuru
sawa no ashibe o
fushiwabite
kaze ni tatsunari
shigi no hanegaki
A wave beats on
The marshy reed beds;
Roost broken, sorrowfully
Starting up into the breeze
The snipe work their wings.

A Servant Girl.

407

Right.

明ぬとて澤立つ鴫の一聲は羽かくよりも哀なりけり

akenu tote
sawa tatsu shigi no
hito koe wa
hane kaku yori mo
aware narikeri
Crying that there’s no dawn yet,
Starting from the marsh, a snipe’s
Single call,
More that his beating wings
Summons sadness…

Ietaka.

408

The Right wonder, ‘if it wouldn’t be rather difficult for a lightly beat its wings on taking off into the wind, as in the Left’s poem?’ The Left respond with, ‘In the Right’s poem, the accustomed reference to the sound of the snipe’s wings, seems subordinated to its cry. Is that right?’

Shunzei’s judgement: A snipe’s wing-beats on taking off into a strong wind are not that vigorous. ‘The snipe work their wings’ (shigi no hanegaki) is what they do, whether gently or not. However, this poem has more of a feeling of reed-bed dwelling birds like cranes, or plovers. In the Right’s poem, it’s not clear what kind of snipe it is ‘starting from the marsh’. The Left’s ‘reed-bed snipe’ should win.

Autumn II: 23

Left (Win).

いづ方へ羽かく鴫の立ちぬらんまだ明やらぬ霧の迷ひに

izukata e
hane kaku shigi no
tachinuran
mada akeyaranu
kiri no mayoi ni
From where is it that
The snipes’ wing-beats
Do come?
With no daybreak yet,
They are lost amidst the mists…

Lord Kanemune.

405

Right.

ほのかにも鴫の羽音ぞ聞ゆなる殘ことなき秋の寢覺に

honoka ni mo
shigi no haoto zo
kikoyunaru
nokoro koto naki
aki no nezame ni
Faintly
Snipes’ wing-beats
Do I hear;
A flurry of thoughts
On waking in autumn…

Jakuren.

406

Neither Left nor Right has any criticisms to make this round.

Shunzei’s judgement: Although both poems seem without fault, ‘a flurry of thoughts’ (nokoru koto naki) suggests all the sorrows of autumn, but the initial part of the poem states that all the poet can hear is the snipes’ wing-beats – and nothing else – so there is a disagreement in what the poem is expressing. I do wonder about the initial line of the Left’s poem, but it should win.

Autumn II: 22

Left (Tie).

明方に夜はなりぬとや菅原や伏見の田居に鴫ぞ立ちける

akekata ni
yo wa narinu to ya
sugawara ya
fushimi no tai ni
shigi zo tachikeru
Is it that dawn
Has come to break the night,
That from the sedge-lined
Fields of Fushimi
The snipe have started?

Lord Suetsune.

403

Right.

明ぬるか鴫の羽がき閨過ぎて袖に月もる深草の里

akenuru ka
shigi no hanegaki
neya sugite
sode ni tsuki moru
fukakusa no sato
Has dawn come?
The snipe’s wingbeats
Cross my bedchamber,
Sleeves lit by lonely moonlight
In the overgrown depths of Fukakusa…

Lord Takanobu.

404

The Right state, ‘There is no precedent for the addition of “fields” (tai) to “sedge-lined Fushimi” (sugawara ya fushimi). In addition, using ya at the end of both the second and third lines is grating on the ear.’ The Left merely remark, ‘“Fukakusa” is now, perhaps more commonly associated with quail.”

Shunzei’s judgement: ‘In regard to the Right’s poem, although one would really like there to be a precedent, and there are doubtless rice fields in “sedge-lined Fushimi”, I do still feel that “fields” here is a little outre, is it not? While the Left’s “sleeved lit by lonely moonlight” (sode ni tsuki moru) is superlative, I would prefer “quail” to be associated with “Fukakusa”. If snipe call for a place name, it is not Fukakusa, but Yamada, I would think. Both poems are excellent, but with faults, and for this reason the round ties.’

Autumn II: 21

Left (Win).

時しもあれ寢覺の空に鴫立て秋のあはれをかき集むらん

toki shimo are
nezame no sora ni
shigi tachite
aki no aware o
kakiatsumuran
It always seems that
On waking, to the skies
The snipe are starting;
All of autumn’s sorrows
Do they sweep together…

Lord Ari’ie.

401

Right.

明けぬとや同じ心に急ぐらん門田の鴫も今ぞ羽かく

akenu to ya
onaji kokoro ni
isoguran
kadota no shigi mo
ima zo hane kaku
Is it that with the dawn,
Just as I,
They must make speed?
The snipe outwith my gates
Are now their wings a’beating.

Lord Tsune’ie.

402

The Right state, ‘Though the Left’s “Do they sweep together” (kakiatsumuran) was used in older compositions, it does not sound good.’ The Left reply, ‘Why have the Right used “make speed” (isogu), when the topic of the poem is not “Travel”?’

Shuzei’s judgement: ‘The Left’s poem on “Snipe” has the lines All of autumn’s sorrows do they sweep together” (aki no aware o kakiatsumuran), and this is more redolent of hunters gathering bedding, or fisher-folk gathering seaweed for salt, however, the point about the Right’s use of “the snipe outwith my gates”, despite the topic not being “Travel”, “just as I they must make speed”, is very well made. The Left wins by a hair.’

Autumn II: 20

Left (Win).

唐衣裾野の庵の旅枕袖より鴫の立つ心地する

karakoromo
susono no io no
tabimakura
sode yori shigi no
tatsu kokochisuru
Clothed in Cathay robes
In a hut at Susono
My traveller’s pillow –
My sleeve – from which the snipe
I feel are starting.

Lord Sada’ie.

399

Right.

旅衣夜半のあはれも百羽がき鴫立つ野邊の暁の空

tabi makura
yowa no aware mo
momohagaki
shigi tatsu nobe no
akatsuki no sora
Clad in traveller’s garb
All night long in lonely reverie
As beating wings time and again
Snipe start from the fields
Into the dawning sky.

Nobusada.

400

The Right query whether it is possible to draw an association between ‘Cathay robes’ and snipe? The Left wonder about the usage of’lonely reverie as beating wings’.

Shunzei’s judgement: The criticisms from both teams are ones I have encountered before. As the poet has used ‘My sleeve – from which the snipe’ (sode yori shigi), and ‘a hut at Susono’ (susono no io), it requires the use of ‘Cathay robes’ (kara koromo) – there is no more to it than that. As for the Right, saying ‘Snipe start from the fields’ (shigi tatsu nobe) and ‘All night long in lonely reverie as beating wings time and again’ (yowa no aware mo momohagaki) – there is no fault to be found here, either. However, saying ‘My sleeve – from which the snipe’ is better. It must win.

Autumn II: 19

Left.

薦枕高瀬の淀に立つ鴫の羽音もそそやあはれかくなり

komo makura
takase no yodo ni
tatsu shigi no
haoto mo soso ya
aware kaku nari
Pillowed on a mat of rush
Where the Yodo meets Takase
The starting snipe
With rustling wingbeats
Draw in my melancholy.

Kenshō.

397

Right (Win).

あはれさは萩吹く風の音のみか有明の月に鴫も鳴なり

awaresa wa
hagi fuku kaze no
oto nomi ka
ariake no tsuki ni
shigi mo nakunari
Melancholy is not
In the wind upon the bush clover’s
Sigh alone but
With the moon at break of dawn
The snipe a’crying.

The Provisional Master of the Empress Household Office.

398

The Right state that the Left’s poem is based on a misinterpretation of the song ‘The Spreading Moon Rises’, and this has led to the usage of ‘mat of rush’. Furthermore, in the absence of expressions such as ‘bush clover’ or ‘new grown rice’, ‘rustling’ lacks a context. The Left merely state that the initial section of the Right’s poem ‘does not sound attractive’.

Shunzei’s judgement: The gentlemen of the Right have already stated the issue with ‘rush mat’. As for ‘rustling’, I have already suggested that it was unsuitable in the earlier poem on bush clover in the topic of ‘Autumn Evenings’, and it is unfeasible to think that one could go so far as to use it in reference to ‘wing beats’. In regard to the Right’s poem, the initial line, indeed, sounds poor, and the central ‘alone but’ is also regrettable, but even so, it wins the round.