Left (Win).
唐衣裾野の庵の旅枕袖より鴫の立つ心地する
| karakoromo susono no io no tabimakura sode yori shigi no tatsu kokochisuru |
Clothed in Cathay robes In a hut at Susono My traveller’s pillow – My sleeve – from which the snipe I feel are starting. |
399
Right.
旅衣夜半のあはれも百羽がき鴫立つ野邊の暁の空
| tabi makura yowa no aware mo momohagaki shigi tatsu nobe no akatsuki no sora |
Clad in traveller’s garb All night long in lonely reverie As beating wings time and again Snipe start from the fields Into the dawning sky. |
400
The Right query whether it is possible to draw an association between ‘Cathay robes’ and snipe? The Left wonder about the usage of’lonely reverie as beating wings’.
Shunzei’s judgement: The criticisms from both teams are ones I have encountered before. As the poet has used ‘My sleeve – from which the snipe’ (sode yori shigi), and ‘a hut at Susono’ (susono no io), it requires the use of ‘Cathay robes’ (kara koromo) – there is no more to it than that. As for the Right, saying ‘Snipe start from the fields’ (shigi tatsu nobe) and ‘All night long in lonely reverie as beating wings time and again’ (yowa no aware mo momohagaki) – there is no fault to be found here, either. However, saying ‘My sleeve – from which the snipe’ is better. It must win.
