Composed on ‘enjoying cool’ for the Poetry Match held by Yorisuke, the Minister of Justice.
ひさぎ生ふるかた山かげにしのびつつふきけるものを秋の夕風
| hisagi ouru katayama kage ni shinobitsutsu fukikeru mono o aki no yūkaze | Where red-oaks grow and Cast their shade upon the mountain slopes Ever secretly Does it blow— The autumn evening breeze. |
Shun’e
Left.
葦垣の上吹越ゆる夕風に通ふもつらき荻の音かな
| ashigaki no ue fukikoyuru yūkaze ni kayou mo tsuraki ogi no oto kana |
The rush-wood fence is Brushed over By the evening breeze; So hard, its coming In the sound of the silver grass… |
A Servant Girl
887
Right (Win).
葦垣の間近き程に住む人のいつか隔てぬ中となるべき
| ashigaki no majikaki hodo ni sumu hito no itsuka hedatenu naka to narubeki |
The rush-wood fence: So near She lives; When will unblocked Our bond be? |
The Provisional Master of the Empress’ Household Office
888
The Right state: the Left’s poem has no faults. The Left state: the Right’s poem is old-fashioned.
In judgement: both poems start with ‘rush-wood fence’ (ashigaki); the Left’s sound of the silver grass passed over by the evening wind sounds pleasant, but simply saying that the sound is hard means that the conception of Love in the poem is weak. While the initial section of the Right’s poem does sound antiquated, it is quite normal for this to be the case, and the lower section is certainly elegant. The conception of Love also seems clear, so the Right should win.
Left.
秋といへばさらでも物の悲しきに夕風立ちぬ高円の宮
| aki to ieba sarademo mono no kanashiki ni yūkaze tachinu takamato no miya |
Speaking of the autumn, Or even if we’re not, true Sadness is in The evening breeze At the palace of Takamato. |
377
Right.
物ごとに秋はあはれを分ねども猶限りなき夕間暮かな
| monogoto ni aki wa aware o wakanedomo nao kagirinaki yūmagure kana |
Everything About the autumn is moving Without exception, but Most of all, it is The early evening. |
The Provisional Master of the Empress Household Office.
378
The Right complain that ‘there is no specific linking expression in the poem with the palace at Takamato’; while the Left criticise the Right’s poem for ‘mentioning “everything” at the beginning, but then simply concluding with “early evening”.’
Shunzei’s judgement: while it is true that there is no specific link with ‘the palace at Takamato’ in the Left’s poem, is it not the case that it is a location redolent with sadness? The Right’s poem recalls ‘Everything/Is sadness/In the scarlet leaves’, and thus does not need to say more than this. However, we need to consider the concluding section ‘early evening’ (yūmagure kana). Just like ‘the palace at Takamato’, it lacks connection. The round must tie.
Left (Win).
夕風の眞野の萩原吹くまゝに閨荒れぬとや鶉鳴らん
| yūkaze no mano no hagiwara fuku mama ni neya arenu to ya uzura nakuran |
As the evening breeze across Mano’s bush clover meadow Does blow, Their roost disturbed, perhaps, Quail burst into cry. |
341
Right.
風の音花の色にもしるかりつ鶉鳴べき野邊の氣色は
| kaze no oto hana no iro ni mo shirukaritsu uzura nakubeki nobe no keshiki wa |
The sound of wind, and The grasses’ hues Do tell it: ‘Tis fit that quails cry Upon a scene of plains. |
342
The Right have no criticisms to make of the Left’s poem. The Left simply remark that having both iro and keshiki (which use the character 色) is ‘a fault’.
Shunzei’s judgement is that, ‘the Left’s “does blow” (fuku mama ni), followed by “their roost disturbed, perhaps” (neya arenu to ya) is not a particularly expression. The Right’s, “do tell it” (shirukaritsu) is somewhat old-fashioned; I would not regard it as a fault, but I do regret it. Thus, the “roost” should win.’
Left (Win).
小萱原吹來る秋の夕風に心亂れと鶉鳴くなり
| ogayawara fukikuru aki no yūkaze ni kokoro midare to uzura naku nari |
Across the sedge fields Come blowing the autumn Evening winds; My heart’s in disarray, The quails are crying… |
339
Right.
秋風を厭ひやすらん夕間暮淺茅が下に鶉鳴く也
| aki kaze o itoi ya suran yūmagure asaji ga shita ni uzura naku nari |
The autumn wind: Do they dislike it, I wonder? In the dark of evening From beneath the sparse stalks of cogon grass The quails are crying… |
340
The Right feel that, ‘Just having “my heart’s in disarray” (kokoro midare to) is lacking something.” The Left have no particular criticisms of the Right’s poem.
Shunzei responds, ‘The gentlemen of the Right have remarked upon the lack in the Left’s poem, wondering, no doubt, if this should be “feeling my heart’s in disarray” (kokoro midare tote). If one were to say that this is definitely the way the poem should have been composed, it would be something of a loss to the Way of Poetry, I feel. If we permit poets to say they are “moved” (aware nari), why not that their “heart’s in disarray”? The Right’s poem has a superlative final section, but one cannot know whether quails dislike the autumn wind or not. In Springtime, the warblers frolic in the mists; in Autumn, the insects cry from beneath the dewdrops – but each only at their allotted time, and from this one can tell the season. The quails’ cries make one feel the chill of the autumn wind. If one composes that they hid themselves from dislike of it, it restricts the imagination about quails too much. The Left wins.’