takasago no susono no ma’hagi tsuyu fukashi mine no akikaze fukazu mo aranamu
On Takasago’s Slopes the fair bush clover is Deep in dew— O, that the autumn winds from the peak Would fail to blow…
The Supernumerary Major Counsellor 53
Right
久かたの天とぶかりの涙さへおちてみだるる萩のうは露
hisakata no ama tobu kari no namida sae ochite midaruru hagi no uwazuyu
From the eternal Heavens flying, even the goose Tears Drop in confusion Overlaying the dew upon the bush clover.[1]
Nobunari 54
Both Left and Right seem particularly pleasant. Thus, they tie.
[1] An allusive variation on: Topic unknown. なきわたるかりの涙やおちつらむ物思ふやどの萩のうへのつゆ nakiwataru / kari no namida ya / ochitsuran / mono’omou yado no / hagi no ue no tsuyu ‘Calling across / Did the geese let tears / Fall? / My dwelling, lost in thought, / Has dew upon the bush clover.’ Anonymous (KKS IV: 221)
The Right wonder with it sounds appropriate for the Left’s poem to end with kinu. The Left say that the Right’s ‘Capital’s heart’ (miyako no oku) is a vague expression.
In judgement: ‘The faults of both poems this round are so minor as not to be worth criticism. The Left’s ‘path to Furuno through the bamboo groves’ (furuno no michi no osasawara) followed with ‘the coming of the autumn winds an endless fall of dewdrops’ (iku aki kaze ni tsuyu koborekinu) sounds particularly fine [yoroshiku koso kikoe]. I wonder whether the Right’s ‘ancient’ (Isonokami) followed by ‘capital’s heart’ (miyako no oku) is really that vague? People who make such criticisms must not read poetry in the same way as this old fool. What a sad situation this is! However, the round is a good tie.’
The Right state that ‘hurry along the showers’ (shigure o isogu) is lacking in technique [jutsu nashi]. The Left merely say that the Right’s poem ‘isn’t bad.’
Shunzei’s judgement: Both poems use ‘now’ (ima wa) in their diction [kotoba], in conjunction with a powerful [sechinaru] conception [kokoro] of regretting autumn’s passing. Nevertheless, the Gentleman of the Left has said the Right’s poem ‘isn’t bad’ and the Gentleman of the Right has said that of the Left ‘lacks technique’. I feel, however, that the initial conception ‘Princess Tatsuta, at this time, now’ (tatsuta hime ima wa) does not refer only to autumn [but could be used for winter, too]. The Right’s ‘Autumn, now ended with the evening skies’ (aki mo ima wa no yūgure no sora) is also somewhat lacking in technique, is it not? Thus, the round lacks a clear winner, or loser.
yo no naka o
omou nokiba no
shinobugusa
iku yo no yado to
are ka hatenan
The everyday world stands
In my thoughts, as beneath my eaves,
The ferns, each one a frond of memory:
How many ages has my dwelling stood,
Now falling to desolation?
