Tag Archives: Old Love

Love III: 30

Left.
我戀は布留野の道の小笹原いく秋風に露こぼれ來ぬ

wa ga koi wa
furuno no michi no
osasawara
iku akikaze ni
tsuyu koborekinu
My love is as
The path to Furuno through
The bamboo groves:
With the coming of the autumn winds
An endless fall of dewdrops.

Lord Ari’ie.
779

Right.
戀そめし心はいつぞ石上宮この奧の夕暮の空

koi someshi
kokoro wa itsu zo
isonokami
miyako no oku no
yūgure no sora
When did this love
First touch my soul?
The ancient
Capital’s heart, gazing
At the evening skies.

Nobusada.
780

The Right wonder with it sounds appropriate for the Left’s poem to end with kinu. The Left say that the Right’s ‘Capital’s heart’ (miyako no oku) is a vague expression.

In judgement: ‘The faults of both poems this round are so minor as not to be worth criticism. The Left’s ‘path to Furuno through the bamboo groves’ (furuno no michi no osasawara) followed with ‘the coming of the autumn winds an endless fall of dewdrops’ (iku aki kaze ni tsuyu koborekinu) sounds particularly fine [yoroshiku koso kikoe]. I wonder whether the Right’s ‘ancient’ (Isonokami) followed by ‘capital’s heart’ (miyako no oku) is really that vague? People who make such criticisms must not read poetry in the same way as this old fool. What a sad situation this is! However, the round is a good tie.’

Love III: 29

Left (Win).
今はたゞ昔語りになり果てて戀も我身も離れましかば

ima wa tada
mukashi gatari ni
narihatete
koi mo wa ga mi mo
hanaremashikaba
When the present
A tale of old has
Quite become;
Our love and myself both,
Would they be better gone?

Lord Kanemune.
777

Right.
世の人の昔語りになりなまし憂きに堪へたる我身ならずは

yo no hito no
mukashi gatari ni
narinamashi
uki no taetaru
wa ga mi narazu wa
For everyone
A tale of old
I’ll not become, for
Enduing the pains of love –
That is not me.

Lord Tsune’ie.
778

The Right wonder ‘where’ the Left ‘would be better gone’ (hanaremashikaba)? The Left say the  Right’s poem expresses commonplace feelings [kikinaretaru kokochisu].

In judgement: ‘Where would they be better gone’ (asahanaretaru) means, how would they be gone. This really is an expression with which I am unfamiliar. In any case, it seems poor reasoning [yoshikaranu yoshi ni ya]. However, the Right, having ‘I’ll not become’ (narinamashi) and ‘is not’ (narazu wa) in the initial and final sections of the poem is a fault. While one still wonders ‘where’ the Left is, it must win.

Love III: 28

Left.
いかなりし世世の報ひのつらさにてこの年月に弱らざるらん

ika narishi
yoyo no mukui no
tsurasa nite
kono toshitsuki ni
yowarazaruran
How many are
My lives blessed with
Pain alone, that
Through these passing years and months
It shows no sign of weakening?

Lord Sada’ie
775

Right.
年経にしつらきに堪へてながらふと聞かれんさへぞ今は悲しき

toshi henishi
tsuraki ni taete
nagarau to
kikaren sae zo
ima wa kanashiki
The years have passed
In nothing but pain
On and on;
All you would hear from me, though,
Is that, now, I am sad.

Lord Takanobu
776

The Right state: ‘It shows no sign of weakening’ [yowarazaruran] seems unsatisfactory in its  placement in this poem. The Left state: there are no faults to inidicate.

In judgement: the Left’s second section seems fine, but the initial section’s ‘pain alone’ (tsurasa)  sounds overly forceful. However, in the Right’s poem ‘All you would hear from me, though, is that, now, I am sad’ (kikaren sae zo ima wa kanashiki) in the final section seems both overly explicit and somewhat weak. I cannot award a win this round.

Love III: 27

Left.
わが中を布留の荒田とうち捨て誰にゆきあひの早稲作らん

wa ga naka o
furu no arada to
uchisutete
tare ni yukiai no
wase tukuran
Our love
As the overgrown fields at Furu
Has been abandoned;
Who do you go to now,
To grow fresh seedlings?

Kenshō
773

Right (Win).
山深み苔の下もる谷水や年経る恋の涙なるらん

yama fukami
koke no shita moru
tanimizu ya
toshi heru koi no
namida naruran
Deep within the mountains
From underneath the moss leaks
Water to the valleys;
Enduring through the years are my love’s
Tears…

Ietaka
774

Both teams say the poems have no fault.

In judgement: both poems seem equal in expression, but the quality of the lower section of the Left’s poem is extremely poor, so I make the Right’s ‘from underneath the moss leaks’ (koke no shita moru) the winner.

Love III: 26

Left.
つれなきの心長さを引かへて絶ぬ契りと思はましかば

tsurenaki no
kokoro nagasa o
hikikaete
taenu chigiri to
omowamashikaba
Your cold
Heart endures
On;
An endless love,
I had thought it would be…

Lord Suetsune
771

Right.
つれなさも恋ふる憂き身も年を経て心長さは変らざりけり

tsurenasa mo
kouru ukimi mo
toshi o hete
kokoro nagasa wa
kawarazarikeri
Both your coldness and
My lovesickness:
As the years passed,
The depth of feeling
Has remained unchanged.

The Provisional Master of the Empress’ Household Office
772

The Right state: the Left’s poem sounds like one composed by His Excellency. The Left state: having ‘coldness’ (tsurenasa) at the beginning of the poem, and ‘depth of feeling’ (kokoro nagasa) at the beginning of the second section is poor.

In judgement: in the Right’s poem, I do wonder about the dual use of sa. As for the Left’s poem, I feel I must refrain from judging it a winner or loser. Thus, this round I will make no judgement.

Love III: 25

Left (Win).
末までといひしばかりに浅茅原宿も我名も朽や果てなん

sue made to
iishi bakari ni
asajibara
yado mo wa ga na mo
kuchi ya hatenan
‘Until the very end,’
You simply said, but
A field of cogon grass
Surrounds my house; my name, too,
Will it wither away…?

A Servant Girl
769

Right.
斧の柄も年経る程は知る物をなど我恋の朽つる世もなき

ono no e mo
toshi heru hodo wa
shiru mono o
nado wa ga koi no
kutsuru yo mo naki
Even my axe handle,
Endures through the passing years,
I know it, but
Why is it that this love
Does not rot from this world?

Jakuren
770

Neither poem has any errors.

In judgement: ‘My house; my name, too’ (yado mo wa ga na mo) sounds better than ‘Why is it that this love’ (nado wa ga koi). The Left wins.