Left.
昔我振分髪を見てしより戀に亂て老いぞしにける
mukashi ware
furiwakegami o
miteshi yori
koi ni midarete
oi zo shinikeru |
Long ago, I,
Your hair, bunched on either side,
Did glimpse, and ever since
In a confusion of love
Have I grown old. |
Lord Suetsune.
841
Right (Win).
色に染む心は同じ昔にて人のつらきに老を知るかな
iro ni somuru
kokoro wa onaji
mukashi nite
hito no turaki ni
oi o shiru kana |
Being charmed by beauty
My heart is just the same
As long ago, but
How cruel for me now,
Feeling my age… |
Lord Takanobu.
842
The Right state: ‘Your hair, bunched on either side’ (furiwakegami) appears very abruptly. In addition, we wonder about the appropriateness of evoking youthful love. The Left state: the Right’s poem has no faults to indicate.
In judgement: the confusion evoked by ‘your hair, bunched on either side’ seems to have lasted rather too long. The Right’s poem sounds exactly as it should be. Thus, the Right should win.
Left (Win).
今はたゞ昔語りになり果てて戀も我身も離れましかば
ima wa tada
mukashi gatari ni
narihatete
koi mo wa ga mi mo
hanaremashikaba |
When the present
A tale of old has
Quite become;
Our love and myself both,
Would they be better gone? |
Lord Kanemune.
777
Right.
世の人の昔語りになりなまし憂きに堪へたる我身ならずは
yo no hito no
mukashi gatari ni
narinamashi
uki no taetaru
wa ga mi narazu wa |
For everyone
A tale of old
I’ll not become, for
Enduing the pains of love –
That is not me. |
Lord Tsune’ie.
778
The Right wonder ‘where’ the Left ‘would be better gone’ (hanaremashikaba)? The Left say the Right’s poem expresses commonplace feelings [kikinaretaru kokochisu].
In judgement: ‘Where would they be better gone’ (asahanaretaru) means, how would they be gone. This really is an expression with which I am unfamiliar. In any case, it seems poor reasoning [yoshikaranu yoshi ni ya]. However, the Right, having ‘I’ll not become’ (narinamashi) and ‘is not’ (narazu wa) in the initial and final sections of the poem is a fault. While one still wonders ‘where’ the Left is, it must win.
'Simply moving and elegant'