Left (Win).
夜川たつ五月來ぬらし瀬瀬を尋め八十伴の男も篝さすはや
| yogawa tatsu satsuki kinurashi sese o tome yasotomo no o mo kagari sasu wa ya |
The night fishing Fifth Month has come, and to Rapid after rapid go Eighty gentlemen Bearing fishing fires… |
227
Right.
鵜飼舟高瀬さし越すほどなれやむすぼゝれゆく篝火の影
| ukaibune takase sashikosu hodo nare ya musubōreyuku kagaribi no kage |
The cormorant boats: O’er the risen rapids Will they pass this time? All in tangles are The lights of the fishing fires… |
228
The Right state simply that the Left’s poem is ‘grating on the ear’, and the Left are equally blunt: ‘It is unconvincing to state that fire tangles.’
Shunzei states, ‘“Night fishing” (yogawa tatsu) seems to me to be an extremely overblown expression. And, “All in tangles are the lights of the fishing fires” (musubōreyuku kagaribi no kage) – this is, indeed, something that can be seen when crossing rapids where the water is high. The Left’s poem is certainly unmelodious, however, having such a dichotomy between the beginning and end of a poem, as in the Right’s case is, I think, insupportable. Thus, for this reason, the Left should win, I think.