yo ni sumedo hito shirenu mi ya shiorisuru miyamagakure no tani no shitamizu
Dwelling within this world, yet No one knows that ‘tis as if I Were marking a trail Hidden deep within the mountains To waters flowing on the valley floor…
Hiromori 131
Right
あしからむなにはのことはかねてよりちかくてまもれすみよしのかみ
ashikaramu naniwa no koto wa kanete yori chikakute mamore sumiyoshi no kami
Reaping reeds, should ill fortune come From Naniwa, in all things Just in case Ward me closely O, God of Sumiyoshi!
Dharma Master Chikyō
132
The poem of the Right here, while it does draw on ‘reaping reeds at Naniwa’, in its phrasing sounds prosaic. As the Left’s ‘waters flowing on the valley floor’ seems to flow smoothly off the tongue, it wins.
waka no ura to omou bakari o tanomi nite yado mo sadamenu ama no ko zo uki
At Waka Bay, for my youth Simply do I long; Relying on A homeless Son of fisherfolk is sad, indeed.
Kyō 129
Right (Win)
すみよしのまつことなくていたづらにとしはつもりのうらみをぞする
sumiyoshi no matsu koto nakute itazura ni toshi wa tsumori no urami o zo suru
At Sumiyoshi Pine I do not, but How quickly The years have laid Their despite upon me!
Suehiro 130
The Left, while it does sound truly pitiful, truly could have had something in mind as an outcome of youth at Waka Bay. As for the Right, simply that ‘The years have laid / Their despite’ without pining, I know only too well, so I can say that the Right wins.
miya’ishite iku yo henuramu sumiyoshi no matsu fuku kaze mo kamisabinikeri
Since He manifested here How many ages might have passed? At Sumiyoshi The wind gusting through the pines, too, Is touched with divinity…
Tsunemasa 127
Right
よのなかをいとふこころはさきだちていつまでとまるうきみなるらむ
yo no naka o itou kokoro wa sakidachite itsu made tomaru ukimi naruramu
This mundane world My heart does despise and Would depart, but How long will I remain, Suffering as I am?
Nakatsuna 128
Both Left and Right are expressions of grievance, but the Left is merely concerned with ‘Since He manifested here / How many ages might have passed?’, while the Right simply wonders ‘How long will I remain’ while despising the mundane world. I cannot really say that either is superior in the emotions they express, yet due to its reference to the deity, I should say that the Left wins.
ware mo ikade yo ni nagaraete sumiyoshi no matsu no chitose no yukusue mo mimu
Somehow, I, too, Would endure in this world, that Sumiyoshi’s Pine’s thousand years End I would see!
Masahira 125
Right
たとへけむなみはわがみにあらはれぬこぎゆくふねのあとはほかかは
tatoekemu nami wa wagami ni arawarenu kogiyuku fune no ato wa hoka ka wa
Might I compare The waves, which on my sorry self Have made their mark, with A boat rowing out, leaving A wake, or if not that then what? [1]
Chikashige 126
The Left seems to be imagining something very unrealistic. The Right has the poem ‘To what should I compare it? / Just as dawn is breaking’ in mind, and appears to have the charming conception of sorrowing over the face of Grand Duke Jiang appearing in the waves on the Wei River, but ‘if not that then what?’ sounds a bit overblown. With that being said, the Left feels like a plea for good fortune, and the Right evokes impermanence. The matters are only distantly connected, and thus in terms of faults and merits they are equal.
[1] An allusive variation on: Topic unknown. 世の中をなににたとへむあさぼらけこぎゆく舟のあとのしら浪 yo no naka o / nani ni tatoemu / asaborake / kogiyuku fune no / ato no shiranami ‘This mundane world: / To what should I compare it? / Just as dawn is breaking, / A boat rows out / Whitecaps in its wake.’ Novice Mansei (SIS XX: 1327)
honoka nite aru ka naki ka ni suguru mi ya namima ni magau ama no isaribi
Faintly, Uncertain if I’m here or not Do I pass through? Entangled between the waves, A fisherman’s torch.
Lord Suetsune 123
Right
すみよしのなをたのみこししるしありてかへるみやこにおもひいでもがな
sumiyoshi no na o tanomikoshi shirushi arite kaeru miyako ni omoi’ide mogana
In Sumiyoshi’s Name did I place my trust— Had it some effect then On returning to the capital Happy memories, I would have!
Takanobu 124
The Left appears to have pleasant configuration and diction, saying ‘Entangled between the waves, / A fisherman’s torch’. Using ‘faintly’ and then concluding with ‘fisherman’s torch’ is extremely charming, but I do wonder about describing a person’s passage through the world as ‘faint’. The Right sounds elegant in style, but saying, ‘On returning to the capital / Happy memories, I would have!’ could be saying that the memories are of the return to the capital itself, and I don’t feel this matches with the initial part of the poem. In addition, is the conception of wanting the deity’s aid for the return? This sounds rather capricious. The Left has a pleasant configuration, and thus it should win.
nezameshite uki yo o omoi awasureba madoromu yume ni kawarazarikeri
When I awake, with This cruel world my thoughts Occupying, The dream that filled my doze Differed not at all…
Hyōenokami 121
Right (Win)
すみのえのうきにおひたるしをれあしをなみひきたてよかみのめぐみに
suminoe no uki ni oitaru shiore’ashi o nami hikitateyo kami no megumi ni
In Suminoe’s Muddy waters grows, Languishing, a reed: O, waves, lift it upright! To receive the deity’s blessing…
Lord Michichika 122
The poem of the Left appears to have an elegant sequence, saying, ‘This cruel world my thoughts / Occupying’, but the speaker does not appear to be particularly thinking of themselves—they are simply reflecting on the transience of this world and that’s how it is. The poem of the Right begins with ‘In Suminoe’ and then has ‘Muddy waters grows’, linking the particular shore with the content. The Right should win.
