The Right find no fault with the Left’s poem. The Left state that they find ‘gather’ (kozoru) ‘grating on the ear’ [kikiyokarazu] and ‘clumsy’ [tezutsu].
Shunzei’s judgement: Starting a poem with ‘It’s Autumn!’ is a usage of diction which I must hope will be considered charming [kotobazukai okashikaran to shokiseru narubeshi]! The Right’s ‘treetops gather’ (kozue ni kozoru) is somewhat unexpected wording [sukoshi wa omoikakenu kotoba ni wa haberedo], yet one cannot call it ‘clumsy’. So, with nothing superlative or at fault with either poem, the round ties.
The Right state that ‘a fresh green grove’ (aogidachi) in the Left’s poem is difficult to accept [kikinikushi].The Left wonder what is meant by ‘Such satisfaction in their hues, there seems to be!’ (wa ga mono kao ni iro no miyuran).
Shunzei’s judgement: With regard to the Left’s poem, the cool of summer is usually evoked by phrases such as ‘the shade of the cedars by the Barrier springs’, or ‘’neath the pines growing by waters flowing from the rocks’, and so one wonders why a fresh green grove of oaks has been used. When the focus [mune] in a poem is autumn leaves, using ‘yet’ (nao) suggests that the poet has something else in mind. The Right’s poem is charming in conception [kokoro wa okashiku kikoyuru], but ‘lodging’ (yado ka) as a piece of diction is insufficiently heartfelt [kotoba no shokisubekarazu]. However, the Left’s poem is lacks sufficient feeling throughout [kotogoto ni kanshinserarezu]. Thus, I make the Right the winner.
Shunzei’s judgement: The style [fūtei] of both poems is such that neither has an particular points worth criticising, or praising either. However, the Right’s ‘blow not’ (na fuki so) seems insufficient. The Left wins.
titi no mi no
titi no mikoto
papaso pa no
papa no mikoto
oporoka ni
kokoro tukusite
omopuramu
sono ko nare ya mo
masurawo ya
munasiku arubeki adusayumi
suwepuriokosi
nageya mochi
tipiro iwatasi
turugitati
kosi ni toripaki asipiki no
yatuo pumikoe
sasimakuru
kokoro sayarazu
noti no yo no
kataritukubeku
na wo takubesi
An inubiwa fruit,
My noble father;
An oak leaf,
My noble mother,
Dull
With distress
Did think
What sort of son is he?
A brave man’s mettle
Does he lack completely?
A catalpa bow:
The tip I wave and
Send an arrow flying
A thousand yards;
A great sword
Fastened at my waist,
Leg wearying
Many hills and dales I cross,
On orders
Firmly fixed;
Years from now
Will folk ever tell
That I gained such a name!
When the Regent and Grand Minister [Fujiwara no Yoshitsune] was Colonel of the Left, he held a poetry competition in one hundred rounds at his house. A poem composed on the oak tree.
時わかぬなみさへ色にいづみがははゝそのもりに嵐ふくらし
toki wakanu
nami sae iro ni
izumigawa
hahaso no mori ni
arashi fukurashi
Untouched by changing seasons are
The waves, yet have they taken colour,
On Izumi river;
In the oak groves
Storms rage through, it seems.