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Poetry Competition in Six Hundred Rounds

Love IV: 30

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Left (Win).
見し人のねくたれ髪の面影に涙かきやる小夜の手枕

mishi hito no
nekutare kami no
omokage ni
namida kakiyaru
sayo no tamakura		 One I once loved:
Her sleep-tangled hair
Comes to mind, and
My tears drop upon
My pillowed arm this night.

A Servant Girl.
839

Right.
見せばやな夜床に積もる塵をのみあらましごとに拂ふ氣色を

miseba ya na
yodoko ni tsumoru
chiri o nomi
aramashi goto ni
harau keshiki o		 Hoping to see him,
From my bed the piled
Dust at least,
Wishing it would be,
Sweeping away – that’s me!

Nobusada.
838

Left and Right both state there are no faults to indicate.

In judgement: even though both the Left’s ‘pillowed arm this night’ (sayo no tamakura) and the Right’s ‘dusty bed’ (yodoko no chiri) are elegant, the combination of ‘my tears drop upon my pillowed arm this night’ (namida kakiyaru sayo no tamakura) is particularly moving. The Left should win.

Poetry Competition in Six Hundred Rounds

Love IV: 24

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Left (Win).
戀詫びて我と眺めし夕暮も馴るれば人の形見がほなる

koiwabite
ware to nagameshi
yūgure mo
narureba hito no
katamigao naru		 Suffering with love
I have gazed
Upon the evening dark,
So used to it that it
Has become your keepsake!

Lord Sada’ie.
827

Right.
明ぼののあはればかりは忍ぶれど今日をば出でず春の夕暮

akebono no
aware bakari wa
shinoburedo
kyō oba idezu
haru no yūgure		 The dawn’s
Sadness, I do just
Bear, but, oh,
Today, it will never come –
The evening in springtime!

Nobusada.
828

The Right state: when one understands the purport of the Left’s poem, it comes as a revelation. The Left state: in the Right’s poem we are unable to grasp the sense of ‘it will never come’ (idezu). In addition, the conception of Love seems lacking.

In judgement: both poems ‘evenings’ are support by little diction, yet the conception of Love is profound, indeed, such that my own shallow knowledge finds it difficult to grasp. However, the Right’s ‘Today, it will never come’ (kyō oba idezu) certainly does seem difficult to comprehend. I would have to say that the Left’s ‘So used to it that it’ (narureba hito no) is marginally superior.

Poetry Competition in Six Hundred Rounds

Love IV: 16

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Left.
月を見てしばし思も忘られき晝間ぞ戀の慰めはなき

tsuki o mite
shibashi omoi mo
wasurareki
hiruma zo koi no
nagusame wa naki		 Gazing at the moon
Briefly my sadness
I did forget; but
In the daylight, love is
No consolation, at all.

Lord Suetsune.
811

Right (Win).
傾かぬ妹が心に日影かな中空にのみ物思ひし

katabukanu
imo ga kokoro ni
hikage kana
nakazora ni nomi
mono’omoi shite		 Not inclining is
My darling’s heart,
Just like this sunshine;
Upon the height of the heavens
Dwell my gloomy thoughts…

Nobusada.
812

The Right state: the Left’s poem has only ‘daylight’ (hiruma) and no other associated images, which makes it unpleasant on the ear. The Left state: we wonder about ‘Not inclining is my darling’ (katabukanu imo).

In judgement: in addition to the lack of associated images with ‘daylight’, the content of the initial line seems insufficient. Although the Right’s ‘not inclining is my darling’ is a little unclear, it seems as if her feelings are unmoved in any way. This is certainly seems like the conception of the sun being fixed overhead at noon, so the Right should win.

Poetry Competition in Six Hundred Rounds

Love IV: 11

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Left.
雲かゝり重なる山を越えもせず隔てまさるは明くる日の影

kumo kakari
kasanaru yama o
koe mo sezu
hedate masaru wa
akuru hi no kage		 Trailed with cloud,
The layered mountains
I have not gone beyond, but
What stands between us most is
The light of the brightening sun.

Lord Sada’ie.
801

Right (Win).
いさ命思ひは夜半に盡き果てぬ夕も待たじ秋の曙

isa inochi
omoi wa yowa ni
tsukihatenu
yūbe mo mataji
aki no akebono		 I know not what’s to become of my life!
All my thoughts of love in the hours of night
Are quite exhausted, and
I cannot wait for evening
On this autumn dawn…

Nobusada.
802

The Right state: from ‘Trailed with cloud’ (kumo kakari) to ‘The light of the brightening sun’ (akuru hi no kage), all is entirely unacceptable, is it not? The Left state: we wonder about the acceptability of ‘I know not what’s to become of my life’ (isa inochi).

In judgement: the Right have said that the Left’s poem is unacceptable from beginning to end, but can one really go so far as to say that? Furthermore, the Left query whether ‘I know not what’s to become of my life’, but I wonder whether I can recall this phrase being that bad. However, one is accustomed to saying that ‘this spring dawn’ (haru no akebono) is elegant, and although ‘this autumn dawn’ (aki no akebono) is a modern expression, the faults of the Left’s poem are particularly problematic, so the Right should win.

Poetry Competition in Six Hundred Rounds

Love IV: 5

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Left.
面影も別れに變る鐘の音にならひ悲しき東雲の空

omokage mo
wakare ni kawaru
kane no oto ni
narai kanashiki
shinonome no sora		 That your face
Is transformed to parting
By the bell’s toll:
How sad this custom
From the eastern skies!

Lord Sada’ie.
789

Right (Win).
暁の涙やせめてたぐふらん袖に落ち來る鐘の音かな

akatsuki no
namida ya semete
tagūran
sode ni ochikuru
kane no oto kana		 At dawn, are
My tears, forced to be
Like them?
Falling on my sleeves:
The tolls of the bell!

Nobusada.
790

The Right state: the sense of the Left’s poem is difficult to grasp on hearing. The Left state: the expression ‘forced to be’ (semete) seems out of place in the context of the Right’s poem.

In judgement: The Left’s poem, just as was said of Kisen’s poetry – that it was ‘obscure of diction and indefinite from beginning to end’  – seems to be in just such a style. The Right’s poem, while it does not, in fact, sound like a suitable context for ‘forced to be’ (semete), provides a profound conception in ‘falling on my sleeves’ (sode ni ochikuru). The Right should win.

Poetry Competition in Six Hundred Rounds

Love III: 30

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Left.
我戀は布留野の道の小笹原いく秋風に露こぼれ來ぬ

wa ga koi wa
furuno no michi no
osasawara
iku akikaze ni
tsuyu koborekinu		 My love is as
The path to Furuno through
The bamboo groves:
With the coming of the autumn winds
An endless fall of dewdrops.

Lord Ari’ie.
779

Right.
戀そめし心はいつぞ石上宮この奧の夕暮の空

koi someshi
kokoro wa itsu zo
isonokami
miyako no oku no
yūgure no sora		 When did this love
First touch my soul?
The ancient
Capital’s heart, gazing
At the evening skies.

Nobusada.
780

The Right wonder with it sounds appropriate for the Left’s poem to end with kinu. The Left say that the Right’s ‘Capital’s heart’ (miyako no oku) is a vague expression.

In judgement: ‘The faults of both poems this round are so minor as not to be worth criticism. The Left’s ‘path to Furuno through the bamboo groves’ (furuno no michi no osasawara) followed with ‘the coming of the autumn winds an endless fall of dewdrops’ (iku aki kaze ni tsuyu koborekinu) sounds particularly fine [yoroshiku koso kikoe]. I wonder whether the Right’s ‘ancient’ (Isonokami) followed by ‘capital’s heart’ (miyako no oku) is really that vague? People who make such criticisms must not read poetry in the same way as this old fool. What a sad situation this is! However, the round is a good tie.’

Poetry Competition in Six Hundred Rounds

Love III: 24

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Left.
君や憂き空やはつらきともすればあはれあな憂とうち眺めつつ

kimi ya uki
sora ya wa tsuraki
tomo sureba
aware ana u to
uchinagametsutsu		 Is it your coldness,
Or the sky’s cruelty?
No, it is neither, that
Feeling the cold
Keeps me gazing at the heavens…

Lord Ari’ie
767

Right (Win).
もの思ふ心の秋の夕まぐれ真葛が原に風渡るなり

mono’omou
kokoro no aki no
yūmagure
makuzu ga hara ni
kaze watarunari		 Sunk in lonely thought
Am I this autumn
Evening:
A field of arrowroot
Blown over by the wind…

Nobusada
768

The Right state: we find no faults to indicate in the Left’s poem. The Left state: the Right’s poem is commonplace, and the ending lacks force.

In judgement: although the Left’s poem reminds me of ‘Feeling the pain will I spend my time?’  (aware ana u to sugushitsuru kana), ‘the sky’s cruelty?’ (sora ya tsuraki) is also elegant [yū]. However, the expression ‘cold’ (u) appears in both the initial and final sections of the poem. The Right’s ‘field of arrowroot blown over by the wind’ (makuzu ga hara ni kaze watarunari) is charming. I don’t belief the ending lacks force. Both poems are fine, but as the Left contains a fault, the Right wins.

Poetry Competition in Six Hundred Rounds

Love III: 17

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Left.

海原の根柔ら小菅今更に誰に引かれて見えず成らん

unabara no
neyawara kosuge
imasara ni
tare ni hikarete
miezunaruran		 Throughout the seabed
Have you found spots to lay your head,
And now,
Who is it that draws you
That I see you no more?

Kenshō

753

Right (Win).

さしも我が絶ず忍びし中にしも渡してけりな久米の岩橋

sashimo wa ga
taezu shinobishi
naka ni shimo
watashitekeri na
kume no iwabashi		 And thus,
For so long have I hidden
Our love, and yet
You have not passed
The stone bridge of Kume…

Nobusada

754

Both Right and Left find no fault.

In judgement: It is certainly not the case that the Left’s ‘Have you found spots to lay your head’ (neyawara kosuge) is not an unpleasant expression. The Right’s ‘stone bridge of Kume’ (kume no iwabashi) is much better, and should win.

Poetry Competition in Six Hundred Rounds

Love III: 7

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Left (Tie).

かたらひし我戀妻やほとゝぎすたまさか山に聲のほのめく

kataraishi
ware koizuma ya
hototogisu
tamasaka yama ni
koe no honomeku		 I spoke once
With the girl I love;
A cuckoo
At Mount Tamasaka
Calling briefly

Kenshō.

733

Right.

絶果てぬ情の山に雲消えて晴るゝ心や星合の空

taehatenu
nasake no yama ni
kumo kiete
haruru kokoro ya
hoshiai no sora		 Unending
Our gentle connection; the mountain
Freed from cloud,
Warming our hearts
Like, perhaps the skies where stars meet.

Nobusada.

734

The Right state: we do not like the Left’s poem, but find no specific faults worth mentioning. The Left state: we are not accustomed to the expression ‘gentle connection; the mountain’ (nasake no yama)

In judgement: Mount Tamasaka’s cuckoo and the Weaver Maid’s gentle mountain connection are of the same quality.