The Right state: in the Left’s poem, it sounds as if the tears are being scattered by some other person. The Left state: we cannot understand the Right’s poem at all.
Shunzei’s judgement: the entirety of the final section of the Left’s poem is inappropriate [kashinserarezaru]. While the configuration of the Right is elegant, it does, indeed, seem somewhat difficult to grasp. Compared, the round is a tie.
The Gentlemen of the Right state: the Left’s poem is entirely in the conception of a morning after poem. This does not match the conception of this topic. The Gentlemen of the Left state: the sense of the Right’s poem is difficult to grasp. The use of ‘dream’ (yume) does not fit with the remainder of the poem’s contents.
Shunzei’s judgement: in terms of the Left’s poem, the morning after is also a parting. What fault can be found in this? However, the Right’s ‘change of heart in a prescient dream’ sounds charming. Thus, the Right wins.
The Gentlemen of the Right state: in the Left’s poem the use of ‘have I waited’ (matareshi) gives the impression that the wait has been very long, indeed! In addition, ‘thought to go to sleep, but a further chime’ (neyo to no kane) is unsatisfactory. ‘Sunset bell’ (iriai no oto) and ‘sleep, but a further chime’ (neyo to no kane) – both these expressions have the same meaning. The Gentlemen of the Left state: in the Right’s poem ‘painful’ (kurushiki ni) sounds weak.
Shunzei’s judgement: the statement by the Gentlemen of the Right concerning ‘sunset bell’ and ‘sleep, but a further chime’ is correct. As for the faults of the Right’s poem, using painful or ‘sorrowful’ (wabishi) forcefully certainly does not sound weak. Having said, ‘I hear, in passing, but’ (kikisugusu dani) makes it more painful. The final line sounds charming. Thus, the Right wins.
The Left and Right both state: we find no faults to mention.
Shunzei’s judgement: although ‘when I wish, it is for this’ (tanomeba kyō no) is an extremely natural expression, the configuration of ‘and then if my lies’ (tatoeba hito no itsuwari) sounds even more profound. Thus, the Right should win.
Both the Left and Right state they find no particular fault with the opposing poem.
Shunzei’s judgement: the Left’s reference to prayer stakes is pretentious, but the final section ‘I entrust to the gods!’ (kami ni makasetsu) lacks resonance. The final line of the Right’s poem sounds fine [yoroshiku kikoyu]. It should win.
The Gentlemen of both the Left and Right state that they find no faults in the opposing poem.
Shunzei’s judgement: The Left has ‘cedar tops touched by the dawntime moon’ (sugi no kozue ni ariake no tsuki) and the Right has ‘cedar tops lies the dusking evening sky’ (sugi no kozue no yūgure no sora) – both poems are charming [okashiku mo haberu]. While the Left lacks a reference to Mount Miwa, this makes it sound all the more charming, I think. ‘Dawntime moon’ is particularly fine in its tranquillity, but the Right’s ‘dusking evening sky’ is by no means inferior, so, again, the round should tie.
The Right find no fault with the Left’s poem, but say that it is commonplace [mezurashikiniarazu]. The Left mention that it is difficult to hear the 5-7-7 pattern at the beginning of the Right’s poem.
Shunzei’s judgement: ‘The Left’s poem follows one from The Tales of Ise. The gentlemen of the Left have remarked that the Right’s mireba keni is difficult to understand. Keni is certainly standard poetic diction. The total conception [kokoro] of the poem is extremely difficult to grasp [ito kikiwakarenu sama], but in terms of total configuration [uta sugata] it is superior.’
The Gentlemen of the Right state: there is nothing worth mentioning in the Left’s poem. The Gentlemen of the Left state: using ne (‘braying’) and oto (‘sound’) in the same poem is a fault [yamai].
Shunzei’s judgement: Both poems are tasteful in form [utazama wa yū] , but the Right’s does contain a fault, as the Left have stated. Thus, the Left should win.
The Gentlemen of the Right state: the Left do not seem to be expressing enough. The Gentlemen of the Left state: the initial line of the Right’s poem is difficult to pronounce. In addition, it is difficult to understand.
Shunzei’s judgement: the Left’s ‘the surface stopped up, but my sleeves’ (ue seku sode no) and the Right’s ‘held down by my sleeves’ (osauru sode no) are both elegant in form [yū naru sama], but no matter how much I ponder them I find them difficult to comprehend, so again, there is no clear winner or loser this round.
The Gentlemen of the Right state: in the Left’s poem we would have preferred ‘had fallen’ (kakarishi). The Gentlemen of the Left state: in the Right’s poem we would have preferred ‘Even yesterday those’ (kesa made mo kakaritsuru).
Shunzei’s judgement: I wonder whether the criticism of the Left’s poem as needing to be ‘had fallen’ is right. In the Right’s poem there is no need to have ‘those’ but it should be ‘these feelings I had lacked’ (kakaru omoi wa nakaritsuru mono o). Whichever way you look at it, this round is a tie.