The Gentlemen of the Right state: we wonder about the appropriateness of making one’s way across when there is no ‘bridge’? The Gentlemen of the Left state: there are no faults to indicate in the Right’s poem.
In judgement: the gentleman of the Left has composed his poem referring to the conception of the Man’yō poem ‘A silent-footed / Colt I’d have: / In Kashitsuka, / The clapper bridge at Mama / To ceaselessly traverse!’, but must have misplaced the bridge somewhere. Truly, I do wonder how it is possible to make one’s way across in the absence of a bridge. Although to say ‘for my steed I’ll go gather grasses’ (sono koma ni kusa torikawan) is something commonplace, doing it to prevent one’s mount getting tired, despite the length of the journey, seems better than lacking a bridge.
The Right state: the Left’s poem sounds pretentious. We are also unable to accept the use of ‘colt, you are not’ (komagoma). The Left state: the Right’s poem sounds archaic.
In judgement: ‘Dishevelled in appearance as a piebald’ (araki keshiki o midarao) is entirely unacceptable style. As for ‘covered with kuzu’, while ‘field is all’ (no mo se) is also undesirable, the final section is elegant. It should win over ‘piebald’.
The Right have no criticisms to make of the Left’s poem. The Left just remark that the Right’s use of ‘even’ (dani aru) is ‘poor’ [yokarazu].
Shunzei’s judgement: Despite the Left starting their poem with ‘dwelling in the mountains’ (yamazato wa), even if it is on a winter morning, where must it take place? It must be at a riverside estate, or village. In addition, the only element of the conception of morning, is ‘crossing the river in the morning’ (asa kawa wataru). I do wonder about the sound of ‘even, has frozen’ (kōri dani aru), but the snow in the morning is more moving and charming [aware mo okashiku mo] than the Left’s mere sound of horses’ hooves on ice, so the Right’s is the better poem.
Neither team has any comments to make about the other’s poem this round.
Shunzei remarks, ‘While the Left’s poem is certainly affecting, might it not be the case that simply “someone” (tare ka yuku) seen at a distance wearing a Mishima sedge-hat is insufficiently moving? However, the conception of the Right’s poem is not that surprising [kokoro wa mezurashikaranedo], and the expression [kotoba] “are hidden” (kakuroete) is certainly inappropriate [yoroshiki kotoba ni arazarubeshi]. “Sedge-hat” should win, should it not!’