Left
ひとりぬる身の衣ではうみなれやみるに涙ぞまなくよせけれ
| hitori nuru mi no koromode wa umi nare ya miru ni namida zo ma naku yosekere | Sleeping alone Is my sleeve The sea? For looking upon it, waves of tears Break there ceaselessly. |
180
Right
年をへてもゆてふふじの山よりもあはぬ思ひは我ぞまされる
| toshi o hete moyu chō fuji no yama yori mo awanu omoi wa ware zo masareru | Through all the passing years Burns Fuji; Far more than the mountain, Not meeting you, the flames of passion, Burn brightly in me. |
181[1]
[1] Shikashū VII: 202/Shinchokusenshū XII: 710
Left
篠のはにおく霜よりもひとりぬる我が衣手ぞさえまさりける
| sasa no ha ni oku simo yori mo hitori nuru wa ga koromode zo saemasarikeru | On bamboo grass leaves Settles frost, but Sleeping alone, My sleeves Are colder still by far. |
Tomonori
121[1]
Right
流れ行く水こほりぬる冬さへや猶うき草の跡はさだめぬ
| nagareyuku mizu kōrinuru fuyu sae ya nao ukikusa no ato wa sadamenu | The flowing Waters have frozen With the winter, even Still the waterweed Has left no clear trace at all. |
122
[1] Kokinshū XII: 563/Shinsen man’yōshū 159/Kokin rokujō I: 668
Left (Win)
我恋はあまのさかてを打ち返し思ときてや世をも恨みん
| wa ga koi wa ama no sakate o uchikaeshi omoi tokite ya yo o mo uramin | My love: With my diver girl’s hands raised to heaven I cast back Knowing of these pains of love The world is all despair! |
Lord Kanemune
1167
Right
衣手はしほたるれどもみるめをばかづかぬ海人となりにけるかな
| koromode wa shiotaruredomo mirume o ba kazukanu ama to narinikeru kana | Though my sleeves Are drenched, as Unable to catch a glimpse of seaweed Like a hapless diver-girl Have I become. |
Lord Tsune’ie
1168
The Right state: there are various possible interpretations for ama no sakate. In addition, is it appropriate to compose a poem from the diver-girl’s perspective? The Left state: there is nothing to mention in the Right’s poem.
In judgement: the Left’s ama no sakate is not a particularly good expression, but I see no fault in composing from the diver-girl’s perspective. In recent times, people have come up with alternate interpretations for the phrase, but I see no reason for them. This old fool long ago composed a poem in this way. So I wonder, should I criticise my own composition? There is evidence for this in the Tales of Ise, and other texts, too. However, in poetry competitions, ama no sakate fails to sound appropriate. The Right’s diver-girl with sleeves drenched by the tide and unable to harvest seaweed seems incapable. She cannot be a genuine diver-girl. The Left’s sakate is not that elegant, but the girl is genuine. It wins.
Left (Tie)
恋そめし思ひの妻の色ぞそれ見にしむ春の花の衣手
| koisomeshi omoi no tsuma no iro zo sore mi ni shimu haru no hana no koromode |
The first flush of love’s Scarlet passion for her: A hue that Stains the flesh, as spring’s Blossoms do the sleeves… |
Lord Sada’ie
1123
Right
飽かざりしそのうつり香は唐衣恋をすすむる妻にぞ有りける
| akazarishi sono utsurika wa karakoromo koi o susumuru tsuma ni zo arikeru |
I cannot get enough of Her scent transferred to My Cathay robe: Love for her begins With a skirt! |
The Supernumerary Master of the Empress’ Household Office
1124
The Right state: both the conception and diction of the Left’s poem are unclear. The Left state: the Right’s poem, in addition to being commonplace, has ‘begins’ (susumuru) which is unimpressive.
In judgement: in the Left’s poem, while ‘blossoms do the sleeves’ (hana no koromode) is evocative, ‘a hue that’ (iro zo sore) is certainly extremely difficult to understand. In the Right’s poem, both ‘Cathay robe’ (karakoromo) and ‘with a skirt’ (tsuma ni zo arikeru) seem elegant, but I wonder about the impression of ‘her scent transferred’ (sono utsurika) and ‘begins’. It is unclear which poem is superior or inferior, so the round should tie.
Left.
逢ふ事は苗代水を引き止めて通しはてぬや小山田の關
| au koto wa nawashiro mizu o hikitomete tōshihatenu ya oyamada no seki |
Can a meeting, like The waters round the rice seedlings Be stopped In their endless flow Past the Oyamada Barrier? |
Kenshō
997
Right (Win).
衣手は清見が關にあらねども絶ゆるよもなき涙也けり
| koromode wa kiyomi ga seki ni aranedomo tayuru yo mo naki namida narikeri |
My sleeves as The Barrier at Kiyomi Are not, yet Without cease Are my tears… |
Lord Tsune’ie.
998
The Right state: we are unfamiliar with the expression ‘Oyamada Barrier’ (oyamada no seki). The Left state: it sounds as if it is tears that are ceaseless at the Barrier at Kiyomi.
In judgement: the Left’s poem is stylistically tasteful, but with only ‘can a meeting, like the waters round the rice seedlings’ (au koto wa nawashiro mizu) the conception of love is weak is it not? The Right’s poem metaphorically has tears ceaseless at the Barrier at Kiyomi, and with the ta present, I accept the Left’s point to a certain extent, but this type of thing is not unusual in metaphorical poems. In addition, there is little reason to imagine the waters round the rice-seedlings being blocked. As it has a stronger focus on Love, the Right wins.