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Poetry Competition in Six Hundred Rounds

Summer I: 4

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Left.

影ひたす水さへ色ぞみどりなるよもの木ずゑのおなじ若葉に

kage hitasu
mizu sae iro zo
midorinaru
yomo no kozue no
onaji wakaba ni		 Steeped in shade
Even the water’s hue
Has turned to green:
All around, the treetops
Loft the same new leaves…

Lord Sada’ie.

187

Right (Win).

をしなべて緑に見ゆる音羽山いづれか花のこずゑなりけむ

oshinabete
midori ni miyuru
otowayama
izure ka hana no
kozue narikemu		 All has
Turned to green on
Otowa mountain;
Which were the blossomed
Treetops, I wonder?

The Provisional Master of the Empress’ Household Office.

188

The Right state, ‘The use of “steeped” (hitasu) is not at all laudable,’ to which the Left reply that it is ‘in the spirit of “shade-steeped southern mountain”’, referring to a line in a famous xinyuefu (新楽府; ‘new ballad’ – a Chinese poetic form), ‘Kunming Spring’ (昆明春). They then continue, ‘Why the particular reference to Otowa Mountain? In addition, doesn’t the poem seem redolent of a reversal of Lord [Minamoto no] Yorimasa’s “the cherries do appear in bloom” (sakura wa hana ni arawarenikeri)?’ The Right, rather tersely reply, ‘Such things are only to be expected.’

Shunzei acknowledges the Chinese model for the Left’s poem: ‘ “Shade-steeped southern mountain” appears in the Baishiwenji, yet in this poem it appears to give an inappropriate emphasis [on the water rather than the trees]. In the Right’s poem, Otowa Mountain could certainly be any mountain. As for the reference to Lord Yorimasa’s poem – this type of technique is becoming increasingly common nowadays. The Right should win.’

Poetry Competition in Six Hundred Rounds

Spring III: 28

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Left (Tie).

木のもとは日數ばかりをにほひにて花も殘らぬ春の山里

ko no moto wa
hikazu bakari o
nioi nite
hana mo nokoranu
haru no yamazato		 Beneath the trees
Just a few days’
Of scented shade;
No blossoms remaining
Round my mountain home…

Lord Sada’ie.

175

Right (Tie).

鶯の花のねくらば荒れにけり古巣にいまや思ひ立つらん

uguisu no
hana no nekuraba
arenikeri
furusu ni ima ya
omoitatsuran		 The warbler
Found his roost among the blooms –
All grown to ruin now;
An abandoned nest, now,
Is all they do recall…

Jakuren.

176

Neither team has any criticism to make of the other’s poem.

Shunzei states, ‘Although the Right’s poem has a somewhat old-fashioned air about it [sukoshi furite zo mie], both poems are superb in form [utazama wa tomo ni yū], and thus the round should tie.’

Poetry Competition in Six Hundred Rounds

Spring III: 21

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Left (Win).

ほのかなる霞の末の荒小田に河づも春の暮れ恨むなり

honokanaru
kasumi no sue no
araoda ni
kawazu mo haru no
kure uramunari		 Faintly
Through the haze upon
The unplanted paddy fields
The frogs, too, spring’s
Passing mourn.

Lord Sada’ie.

161

Right.

みがくれて井手の河づはすだけども浪のうへにぞ聲は聞ゆる

migakurete
ide no kawazu wa
sudakedomo
nami no ue ni zo
koe wa kikoyuru		 Hidden in the waters,
The frogs of Ide
Swarm, yet
Across the waves
Come their cries.

Lord Tsune’ie.

162

The Right wonder about the appropriateness of ‘through the haze upon’ (kasumi no sue), while the Left content themselves with saying the Right’s poem is ‘trite.’

Shunzei states that, ‘“Through the haze upon the unplanted paddy fields” (kasumi no sue no araoda) is a particularly desolate image, but I do wonder if it’s appropriate here. “Hidden in the waters, the frogs of Ide swarm” (migakurete ide no kawazu) certainly sounds as if it were based on a prior example, but I find myself unable to recall it at present. Having both “across the waves” (nami no ue) and “the frogs of Ide” (ide no kawazu), however, is excessive. The left seems the winner.’

Poetry Competition in Six Hundred Rounds

Spring III: 14

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Left (Win).

唐人の跡を伝ふるさかづきの浪にしたがふけふも來にけり

karahito no
ato o tsutauru
sakazuki no
nami ni shitagau
kyō mo kininkeri		 How Cathay folk
Did long ago, ‘tis told;
With wine cups,
Trailing ‘long the waves
Has this day come.

Lord Sada’ie.

147

Right.

植へをきし賤が心は桃の花弥生のけふぞ見るべかりける

ueokishi
shizu ga kokoro wa
momo no hana
yayoi no kyō zo
mirubekarikeru		 ‘Twas planted, long ago, and now
The peasants’ hearts,
Peach blossom
On this Third Month day
Must see.

Ietaka.

148

Both teams say they have no criticisms, as before.

Shunzei, however, says, ‘The Left’s poem, as in the last round, draws on an ancient example of the Waterside Poetry Party. The Right’s, “The peasants’ hearts, on this Third Month day must see”, however, is extremely difficult to grasp, and certainly prosaic, is it not? The Left must win.’

Poetry Competition in Six Hundred Rounds

Spring III: 7

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Left (Win).

袖の雪空吹く風もひとつにて花にゝほへる志賀の山越え

sode no yuki
sora fuku kaze mo
hitotsu nite
hana ni nioeru
shiga no yamagoe		 The snow upon my sleeves
Blown through the breezy skies
Is one with
The scent of blossom on
The path across the Shiga Mountains.

Lord Sada’ie.

133

Right.

嵐吹く花の梢に跡見えて春も過ぎゆく志賀の山越え

arashi fuku
hana no kozue ni
ato miete
haru mo sugiyuku
shiga no yamagoe		 Storm winds blow
Blossom from the treetops:
Footprints mark
The passage of Spring on
The path across the Shiga Mountains.

Ietaka.

134

The Right team remark about the Left’s poem that ‘beginning two lines with so (sode…sora) is grating’, while the Left have no criticisms to make of the Right’s poem.

Shunzei states, ‘The gentlemen of the Right have remarked upon the Left poem’s grating qualities. Nevertheless, does it not seem that this path across the Shiga Mountains is particularly intriguing? The Right’s poem mentions ‘blossom from the treetops/footprints mark’ (hana no kozue ni ato miete), but if the sense is that the blossom has already fallen, it seems that there would be little of interest in such a sight. The Left should win, I think.’

Poetry Competition in Six Hundred Rounds

Spring III: 4

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Left (Win).

ながめわびぬ光のどかに霞む日に花咲く山は西を分かねど

nagame wabinu
hikari nodoka ni
kasumu hi ni
hana saku yama wa
nishi o wakanedo		 Surfeited with gazing,
In the tranquil light
Of the hazy sun,
At the mountain – blossom-covered –
Yet not on its western side alone…

Lord Sada’ie.

127

Right.

つれづれとくらしぞかぬる山里の花咲かぬまの春の心は

tsurezure to
kurashi zo kanuru
yamazato no
hana sakanu ma no
haru no kokoro wa		 In this tedium
I cannot spend my days:
Dwelling on a mountain,
The blossoms not yet blooming
In springtime – or so I feel!

The Provisional Master of the Empress’ Household Office.

128

Both teams say their feelings are as in the previous round.

Shunzei says, ‘The final stanza ‘At the mountain – blossom-covered – yet not on its western side alone…’ (hana saku yama wa nishi o wakanedo) appears particularly splendid. The Right’s ‘I cannot spend my days: dwelling on a mountain’ (kurashi zo kanuru yamazato no) is also good, but ‘The blossoms not yet blooming’ (hana sakanu ma) would be more appropriate for a poem on the end of the First, or beginning of the Second Month. Wouldn’t it?’

Poetry Competition in Six Hundred Rounds

Spring II: 28

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Left.

霞かは花鶯にとぢられて春にこもれる宿の明ぼの

kasumi ka wa
hana uguisu ni
tojirarete
haru ni komoreru
yado no akebono		 Is this haze?
No, in blossom and warbler song
Am I sealed;
Shut in by springtime
Is my home this dawn.

Lord Sada’ie

115

Right (Win).

霞立つ末の松山ほのぼのと浪にはなるゝ橫雲の空

kasumi tatsu
sue no matsuyama
honobono to
nami ni hanaruru
yokogumo no sora		 The hazes rise
Around the pine-clad peak of Sué;
Dimly
Departing from the waves,
Narrow clouds trail across the sky.

Ietaka.

116

The Right team have no particular remarks to make about the Left’s poem this round, but the Left state that the Right’s poem is ‘most satisfying.’

Shunzei’s judgement is: ‘The Left’s “Is this haze?” (kasumi ka wa) seems like it wants to be “Is this just haze?” (kasumi nomi ka wa). “In blossom and warbler song am I sealed” (hana uguisu ni tojirarete) and “my home this dawn” (yado no akebono) remind one of “the lofty palace of Shinsei stands behind warblers and blossom” and this is excellent. As for the Right’s poem, this is particularly moving, with its depiction of the scene “departing from the waves, narrow clouds trail across the sky” (nami ni hanaruru yokogumo no sora), recalling “the pine-clad peak of Sué” (sue no matsuyama). The poem does start with “hazes rise” (kasumi tatsu) and having “haze” (kasumi), “wave” (nami) and “cloud” (kumo) means the poem is somewhat overburdened with similar imagery. “Narrow clouds trail across the sky”, though, does make a particularly strong impression, and the Left’s poem is merely satisfying, as has been said. Thus, “my home this dawn” must lose, I think.’

Poetry Competition in Six Hundred Rounds

Spring II: 24

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Left (Win).

くり返し春の糸ゆふ幾代へておなじ緑の空に見ゆらむ

kurikaeshi
haru no itoyū
iku yo hete
onaji midori no
sora ni miyuramu		 Time and time again
The threaded heat haze of spring,
As uncounted ages pass,
In identical azure
Skies must appear…

Lord Sada’ie.

107

Right.

のどかなる夕日の空をながむれば薄紅に染むるいとゆふ

nodokanaru
yūhi no sora o
nagamureba
usukurenai ni
somuru itoyū		 When on the tranquil
Sunset sky
I gaze,
Pale crimson
Stains the haze.

Ietaka.

108

Neither team has anything to say about the other’s poem this round.

Shunzei, however, says, ‘Although the expressions ‘time and time again’ (kurikaeshi) and ‘uncounted ages pass’ (iku yo hete) seem somewhat forced connections with ‘threaded’ (ito), the final section beginning ‘identical azure’ (onaji midori) is superb. The essence of the Right’s poem, of gazing at the sky at sunset with the threads of haze stained, is charming, but I wonder whether it would not have been better not to force the reference to sunset into the poem. ‘Azure skies’ must win.

Poetry Competition in Six Hundred Rounds

Spring II: 13

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Left (Win).

末遠き若葉の芝生うちなびき雲雀鳴野の春の夕暮

sue tōki
wakaba no shibafu
uchinabiki
hibari naku no no
haru no yūgure		 To the distance far
The growing greensward
Stretches;
Skylarks singing o’er the plain
In the springtime evening.

Lord Sada’ie

85

Right.

雲に入るそなたの聲をながむれば雲雀落ち來る明ぼのゝ空

kumo ni iru
sonata no koe no
nagamureba
hibari ochikuru
akebono no sora		 From within the clouds
Comes song: thither
Staring,
Skylarks swooping
Through the skies at dawn.

Lord Takanobu.

86

The Right team question what it is that the greensward ‘streams’ (nabiku) towards, while the Left say that starting with ‘within the clouds’ (kumo ni iru) is ‘somewhat abrupt’.

Shunzei comments of the Right’s question, ‘whatever it streams towards, in truth, from point of view of form, it should not stream at all,’ meaning that there’s no need to use the expression at all in the poem. As for the Right’s poem, somewhat facetiously, he says, ‘what is “within the clouds” is, most likely a ball, and while gazing “thither at their song”, one would think that, no doubt, the skylark, too, would soon come swooping down, but one would have to stop staring in order to catch it!’ In addition, ‘wouldn’t it be to dark at dawn to distinguish a skylark?’ So, ‘Skylarks singing o’er the plain/In the springtime evening’ should be the winner.

Poetry Competition in Six Hundred Rounds

Spring II: 7

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Left.

立つ雉のなるゝ野原もかすみつゝ子を思ふ道や春まどふらん

tatsu kiji no
naruru nohara mo
kasumitsutsu
ko o omou michi ya
haru madouran		 The flying pheasants
Know these fields so well, yet
Haze-covered,
The fond way to their fledglings
Does it sink springtime in confusion…?

Lord Sada’ie

73

Right (Win).

鳴て立つきゞすの宿を尋ぬれば裾野の原の柴の下草

nakitetatsu
kigisu no yado o
tasunureba
susono no hara no
shiba no shitagusa		 The crying, flying
Pheasants’ lodging
Should you seek out, look
In meadows on the mountains’ skirts
Among the brushwood undergrowth…

Nobusada

74

The Right team wonder whether ‘know a field well’ (hara ni naruru) isn’t a bit ‘modern’ for poetry. Furthermore, ‘sink springtime in confusion’ (haru madouran) ‘seems to be missing something’ (by this they probably mean that you would expect the expression to be haru ni madouran, with the grammatical structure more clearly expressed). The Left team respond that the first line of the Right’s poem ‘grates on the ear’ and wonder, ‘What one is to make of “pheasants’ lodgings” (kigisu no yado)?’, meaning that traditional poetic expression called for ‘warblers’ lodgings’ (uguisu no yado).

Shunzei rather harshly says that the Left’s poem is ‘poorly constructed and unacceptable in both spirit and diction,’ wondering whether there was ‘a single school which would not find fault with it on the grounds of both logic and poetic form’? It would be possible to say ‘flying pheasants’ springtime confusion’ (tatsu kigisu no haru madou), and this would ‘not require any criticism’, just as ‘crying, flying pheasants’ lodging’ does not. Furthermore, the Right’s final stanza, ‘Among the brushwood undergrowth’ (shiba no shitagusa) is ‘particularly pleasant’ and so the Right’s poem must be awarded the victory.