Autumn II: 8

Left (Win).


yūgiri ni
chigusa no hana wa
kakurenu mono wa
mushi no koegoe
In the evening mists
A multitude of blooms
Are enveloped, yet
Unhidden are
The insects’ songs…

Lord Suetsune.




nobe no iro wa
mina usuzumi ni
shibashi to miyu
yūgiri no sora
The fields’ hues
Have all with a weak wash of ink
Been overlayed;
Only briefly yet visible
Is the misty evening sky…

Lord Takanobu.


The Right state that, ‘The Left’s poem is supposed to be on the theme of “evening mists”, but it seems to be more focussed on “insects”. The Left counter with, ‘the use of “weak wash of ink” (usuzumi) is unsuited to the end of the poem. The theme of “autumn evenings” is dully depicted, is it not?’

Shunzei’s judgement: Although the Left’s poem does begin with ‘in the evening mists’ (yūgiri ni), it certainly is a poem on insects. In terms of diction, though, ‘all with a weak wash of ink’ (mina usuzumi) is not permissible. Thus, even though it is on insects, the Left wins.

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