Left (Tie).
散りつもる花をば踏まじと思ふまに道こそなかれ志賀の山越え
| chiritsumoru hana oba fumaji to omou ma ni michi koso nakare shiga no yamagoe |
Upon the fallen, piléd, Blossoms I should not tread I feel, and so Pathway have I none Across the Shiga Mountains… |
137
Right (Tie).
春はたゞ雲路を分くる心地して花こそ見えぬ志賀の山越え
| haru wa tada kumoji o wakuru kokochishite hana koso mienu shiga no yamagoe |
In spring, I simply Forge a path betwixt the clouds, I feel; Blossoms indistinguishable On the path across the Shiga Mountains. |
138
The Right state that ‘I feel and so’ (to omou ma ni) in the Left’s poem is ‘unpleasant’, while the Left remark that ‘entering among blossoms and then saying “blossoms indistinguishable” is unclear.’ The commentators are uncertain about what the Right’s objection to ‘to omou ma ni’ is, and speculate that it may be because it contains one too many syllables for its position in the poem (six when there should be five). This seems most likely, as there are numerous other poems using the expression in other contexts.
Shunzei judgement is: ‘The Right’s emphasis on blossom resembling clouds is excessive and makes the poem eccentric. Their criticism of the Left’s “I feel, and so” (omou ma ni) is also excessive. The round would appear to be a tie.’