In judgement: the Left starts with ‘My home I left in floods’ (furusato ni ideshi ni masaru) and concludes with ‘the wild wind round my pillow breaks us apart in dreams’ (arashi no makura yume ni wakarete) – this is a form of words the quality of which I am entirely unable to convey with my own clumsy expressions, but the Right’s ‘O moonlight, sinking toward the mountains round the capital’ (miyako no yama ni kakaru tsukikage) is awash with a sense of tears, so it is most unclear which should win or lose. Both truly seem to reflect the conception of this topic ‘Love and Travel’ well. The poems have been so good every round that my brush is drenched with this old man’s tears, and I can find no other way to express it.
The Right state: the Left’s poem lacks the essence of love on a journey, and even the sense of sorrow seems insufficient. The Left state: the Right’s poem has no particular faults.
In judgement: what do the Right mean by saying the Left ‘lack the essence of love on a journey’? And is it really right that ‘is somehow sad’ (nani ka sabishiki) is insufficient? The poem is composed to give an impression of someone fooling themselves. The Right’s ‘Koyurugi’ is certainly not an expression which I have not come across. However, the Left should win.
sawadagawa
sode tsuku bakari
asakeredo
hare
asakeredo
kuni no miyabito ya
takahashi watasu
aware
soko yoshi ya
takahashi watasu
The River Sawada
It does soak your sleeves
Though it’s only shallow
Hey!
Though it’s only shallow
Folk from the capital
Have put a great bridge across it!
For shame!
Is there any point
To putting a great bridge across it?
mimoro no
kamunabi yama ni
iope sasi
sidi ni opitaru
tuga no ki no
iya tugitugi ni
tamakadura
tayuru koto naku
aritutu mo
yamazu kayopamu
asuka no
puruki miyako pa
yama takami
kawa toposirosi
paru no pi pa
yama si migaposi
aki no yo pa
kapa si sayakesi
asagumo ni
tadu pa midare
yupugiri ni
kawadu wa sawagu
miru goto ni
ne nomi si nakayu
inisie omopeba
On the sacred
Mountain of the Gods
With many branches
Flourishing grow
Hemlock trees,
All and ever joined with
Hydrangea
Never-ending
Always there
Ever would I be
In Asuka,
The ancient capital, where
Mountains mighty and
Rivers grand do lie, and
On spring days
It is the mountains I would see;
On autumn nights
The river, so refreshing!
Amongst the morning clouds
The cranes do swoop and soar;
The evening mists
Are noisy with the frogs;
The simple sights
Call forth my tears
While I think on times gone by…
The Right wonder with it sounds appropriate for the Left’s poem to end with kinu. The Left say that the Right’s ‘Capital’s heart’ (miyako no oku) is a vague expression.
In judgement: ‘The faults of both poems this round are so minor as not to be worth criticism. The Left’s ‘path to Furuno through the bamboo groves’ (furuno no michi no osasawara) followed with ‘the coming of the autumn winds an endless fall of dewdrops’ (iku aki kaze ni tsuyu koborekinu) sounds particularly fine [yoroshiku koso kikoe]. I wonder whether the Right’s ‘ancient’ (Isonokami) followed by ‘capital’s heart’ (miyako no oku) is really that vague? People who make such criticisms must not read poetry in the same way as this old fool. What a sad situation this is! However, the round is a good tie.’
Both teams say the other’s poem ‘isn’t bad’ [ashikaranu].
Shunzei’s judgement: Although I feel that this topic of ‘Winter Mornings’ should express the conception of the latter half of winter [fuyu no nakaba sugitaru kokoro], the Left’s poem sounds like one from the beginning of winter, and I wonder about that. ‘South-east of the capital’ (miyako no tatsumi) is taken from the poem by Kisen on Mt Uji, which states ‘South east of the Capital, and so I dwell’ (miyako no tatsumi sika zo sumu). This conception [kokoro] of being there and ‘gazing south-east of the capital’ (miyako no tatsumi nagamureba) to the Fukakusa Estate, is charming [okashiku haberu]. Snow on the treetops in the morning, too, sounds pleasant [yoroshiku kikoyu]. Thus, the Right should win.