Snipe
Left (Tie)
たれか又暁ごとに夢さめて羽掻く鴫の声を聞くらむ
| tareka mata akatuki goto ni yume samete Fane kaku sigi no kowe wo kikuramu | Who is it that yet With every single dawn Awakens from her dreams, and The wing-beating snipes’ Cries does hear? |
Koma
小馬
17
Right
我ならで誰か聞くらむ暁の羽掻く鴫の数を尽くして
| ware narade tare ka kikuramu akatuki no Fane kaku sigi no kazu wo tukusite | If not I, then Who is it that will hear? With the dawn The snipes’ wing-beats Coming to an end… |
Saemon
左衛門
18
Left (Win).
浪寄する澤の蘆邊をふし侘て風に立つなり鴫の羽がき
| nami yosuru sawa no ashibe o fushiwabite kaze ni tatsunari shigi no hanegaki |
A wave beats on The marshy reed beds; Roost broken, sorrowfully Starting up into the breeze The snipe work their wings. |
407
Right.
明ぬとて澤立つ鴫の一聲は羽かくよりも哀なりけり
| akenu tote sawa tatsu shigi no hito koe wa hane kaku yori mo aware narikeri |
Crying that there’s no dawn yet, Starting from the marsh, a snipe’s Single call, More that his beating wings Summons sadness… |
408
The Right wonder, ‘if it wouldn’t be rather difficult for a lightly beat its wings on taking off into the wind, as in the Left’s poem?’ The Left respond with, ‘In the Right’s poem, the accustomed reference to the sound of the snipe’s wings, seems subordinated to its cry. Is that right?’
Shunzei’s judgement: A snipe’s wing-beats on taking off into a strong wind are not that vigorous. ‘The snipe work their wings’ (shigi no hanegaki) is what they do, whether gently or not. However, this poem has more of a feeling of reed-bed dwelling birds like cranes, or plovers. In the Right’s poem, it’s not clear what kind of snipe it is ‘starting from the marsh’. The Left’s ‘reed-bed snipe’ should win.
Left (Win).
いづ方へ羽かく鴫の立ちぬらんまだ明やらぬ霧の迷ひに
| izukata e hane kaku shigi no tachinuran mada akeyaranu kiri no mayoi ni |
From where is it that The snipes’ wing-beats Do come? With no daybreak yet, They are lost amidst the mists… |
405
Right.
ほのかにも鴫の羽音ぞ聞ゆなる殘ことなき秋の寢覺に
| honoka ni mo shigi no haoto zo kikoyunaru nokoro koto naki aki no nezame ni |
Faintly Snipes’ wing-beats Do I hear; A flurry of thoughts On waking in autumn… |
406
Neither Left nor Right has any criticisms to make this round.
Shunzei’s judgement: Although both poems seem without fault, ‘a flurry of thoughts’ (nokoru koto naki) suggests all the sorrows of autumn, but the initial part of the poem states that all the poet can hear is the snipes’ wing-beats – and nothing else – so there is a disagreement in what the poem is expressing. I do wonder about the initial line of the Left’s poem, but it should win.
Left (Tie).
明方に夜はなりぬとや菅原や伏見の田居に鴫ぞ立ちける
| akekata ni yo wa narinu to ya sugawara ya fushimi no tai ni shigi zo tachikeru |
Is it that dawn Has come to break the night, That from the sedge-lined Fields of Fushimi The snipe have started? |
403
Right.
明ぬるか鴫の羽がき閨過ぎて袖に月もる深草の里
| akenuru ka shigi no hanegaki neya sugite sode ni tsuki moru fukakusa no sato |
Has dawn come? The snipe’s wingbeats Cross my bedchamber, Sleeves lit by lonely moonlight In the overgrown depths of Fukakusa… |
404
The Right state, ‘There is no precedent for the addition of “fields” (tai) to “sedge-lined Fushimi” (sugawara ya fushimi). In addition, using ya at the end of both the second and third lines is grating on the ear.’ The Left merely remark, ‘“Fukakusa” is now, perhaps more commonly associated with quail.”
Shunzei’s judgement: ‘In regard to the Right’s poem, although one would really like there to be a precedent, and there are doubtless rice fields in “sedge-lined Fushimi”, I do still feel that “fields” here is a little outre, is it not? While the Left’s “sleeved lit by lonely moonlight” (sode ni tsuki moru) is superlative, I would prefer “quail” to be associated with “Fukakusa”. If snipe call for a place name, it is not Fukakusa, but Yamada, I would think. Both poems are excellent, but with faults, and for this reason the round ties.’
Left (Win).
時しもあれ寢覺の空に鴫立て秋のあはれをかき集むらん
| toki shimo are nezame no sora ni shigi tachite aki no aware o kakiatsumuran |
It always seems that On waking, to the skies The snipe are starting; All of autumn’s sorrows Do they sweep together… |
401
Right.
明けぬとや同じ心に急ぐらん門田の鴫も今ぞ羽かく
| akenu to ya onaji kokoro ni isoguran kadota no shigi mo ima zo hane kaku |
Is it that with the dawn, Just as I, They must make speed? The snipe outwith my gates Are now their wings a’beating. |
402
The Right state, ‘Though the Left’s “Do they sweep together” (kakiatsumuran) was used in older compositions, it does not sound good.’ The Left reply, ‘Why have the Right used “make speed” (isogu), when the topic of the poem is not “Travel”?’
Shuzei’s judgement: ‘The Left’s poem on “Snipe” has the lines All of autumn’s sorrows do they sweep together” (aki no aware o kakiatsumuran), and this is more redolent of hunters gathering bedding, or fisher-folk gathering seaweed for salt, however, the point about the Right’s use of “the snipe outwith my gates”, despite the topic not being “Travel”, “just as I they must make speed”, is very well made. The Left wins by a hair.’
Left (Win).
唐衣裾野の庵の旅枕袖より鴫の立つ心地する
| karakoromo susono no io no tabimakura sode yori shigi no tatsu kokochisuru |
Clothed in Cathay robes In a hut at Susono My traveller’s pillow – My sleeve – from which the snipe I feel are starting. |
399
Right.
旅衣夜半のあはれも百羽がき鴫立つ野邊の暁の空
| tabi makura yowa no aware mo momohagaki shigi tatsu nobe no akatsuki no sora |
Clad in traveller’s garb All night long in lonely reverie As beating wings time and again Snipe start from the fields Into the dawning sky. |
400
The Right query whether it is possible to draw an association between ‘Cathay robes’ and snipe? The Left wonder about the usage of’lonely reverie as beating wings’.
Shunzei’s judgement: The criticisms from both teams are ones I have encountered before. As the poet has used ‘My sleeve – from which the snipe’ (sode yori shigi), and ‘a hut at Susono’ (susono no io), it requires the use of ‘Cathay robes’ (kara koromo) – there is no more to it than that. As for the Right, saying ‘Snipe start from the fields’ (shigi tatsu nobe) and ‘All night long in lonely reverie as beating wings time and again’ (yowa no aware mo momohagaki) – there is no fault to be found here, either. However, saying ‘My sleeve – from which the snipe’ is better. It must win.
Left.
薦枕高瀬の淀に立つ鴫の羽音もそそやあはれかくなり
| komo makura takase no yodo ni tatsu shigi no haoto mo soso ya aware kaku nari |
Pillowed on a mat of rush Where the Yodo meets Takase The starting snipe With rustling wingbeats Draw in my melancholy. |
397
Right (Win).
あはれさは萩吹く風の音のみか有明の月に鴫も鳴なり
| awaresa wa hagi fuku kaze no oto nomi ka ariake no tsuki ni shigi mo nakunari |
Melancholy is not In the wind upon the bush clover’s Sigh alone but With the moon at break of dawn The snipe a’crying. |
The Provisional Master of the Empress Household Office.
398
The Right state that the Left’s poem is based on a misinterpretation of the song ‘The Spreading Moon Rises’, and this has led to the usage of ‘mat of rush’. Furthermore, in the absence of expressions such as ‘bush clover’ or ‘new grown rice’, ‘rustling’ lacks a context. The Left merely state that the initial section of the Right’s poem ‘does not sound attractive’.
Shunzei’s judgement: The gentlemen of the Right have already stated the issue with ‘rush mat’. As for ‘rustling’, I have already suggested that it was unsuitable in the earlier poem on bush clover in the topic of ‘Autumn Evenings’, and it is unfeasible to think that one could go so far as to use it in reference to ‘wing beats’. In regard to the Right’s poem, the initial line, indeed, sounds poor, and the central ‘alone but’ is also regrettable, but even so, it wins the round.