Composed on early summer rain, while at the estate of Minister of the Emperor’s Household Tsunenaga at Katsurayama.
梅雨は見えし小笹の原もなしあさかの沼の心地のみして
| samidare Fa miesi wozasa no Fara mo nasi asaka no numa no kokoti nomi site |
Summer showers Have I seen, but broad-leaved bamboo Groves are there none; Asaka marsh is Simply what this feels like! |
Fujiwara no Norinaga
藤原範永
Left (Win).
浪寄する澤の蘆邊をふし侘て風に立つなり鴫の羽がき
| nami yosuru sawa no ashibe o fushiwabite kaze ni tatsunari shigi no hanegaki |
A wave beats on The marshy reed beds; Roost broken, sorrowfully Starting up into the breeze The snipe work their wings. |
407
Right.
明ぬとて澤立つ鴫の一聲は羽かくよりも哀なりけり
| akenu tote sawa tatsu shigi no hito koe wa hane kaku yori mo aware narikeri |
Crying that there’s no dawn yet, Starting from the marsh, a snipe’s Single call, More that his beating wings Summons sadness… |
408
The Right wonder, ‘if it wouldn’t be rather difficult for a lightly beat its wings on taking off into the wind, as in the Left’s poem?’ The Left respond with, ‘In the Right’s poem, the accustomed reference to the sound of the snipe’s wings, seems subordinated to its cry. Is that right?’
Shunzei’s judgement: A snipe’s wing-beats on taking off into a strong wind are not that vigorous. ‘The snipe work their wings’ (shigi no hanegaki) is what they do, whether gently or not. However, this poem has more of a feeling of reed-bed dwelling birds like cranes, or plovers. In the Right’s poem, it’s not clear what kind of snipe it is ‘starting from the marsh’. The Left’s ‘reed-bed snipe’ should win.
Left (Win).
はかなしや荒れたる宿のうたゝ寢に稲妻通ふ手枕の露
| hakanashi ya aretaru yado no utatane ni inazuma kayou tamakura no tsuyu |
How brief it was! In a ruined dwelling Dozing, when Lightning crossed The dewdrops on my pillowing arm… |
333
Right.
すだき來し澤の螢は影消てたえだえ宿る宵の稲妻
| sudakikoshi sawa no hotaru wa kage kiete taedae yadoru yoi no inazuma |
All together have The fireflies above the marsh Lost their light; Briefly remaining, Lightning at the dusk… |
334
The Right state that they have no criticisms of the Left’s poem. The Left wonder about the suitability of fireflies disappearing in the autumn.
Shunzei feels, ‘The Left’s poem is certainly charming in form and expression, but more thought should have been given to the initial phrase “How brief it was!” (hakanashi ya). The Right’s poem, too, is charming, and as for fireflies being a topic for summer poetry alone, in autumn it is acceptable to compose on the failing of their light, is it not? Did not Anjin compose “Fireflies flashing on the palace stairs and gates/Crickets crying from the eaves and tiles”? There is also the example from the Collection of Songs to Sing Aloud of “Seeking cuckoo calls in the dawntime clouds/Innumerable fireflies flit among the autumn grasses”. Still, the Left’s “dewdrops on my pillowing arm” wins, I think.’
