The Right team have no particular criticisms of the Left’s poem this round. The Left, though, say ‘What are we to make of ‘Sundown seems a long, long way away’ (hi wa harukanari)?’ (Probably suggesting it’s an insufficiently poetic expression to use in a waka.)
Shunzei doesn’t address the Left’s criticism in his judgement, simply saying, ‘The Left’s final section starting “amongst the cherry blossom do I live” (sakura ni kurasu) sounds charming. It must win.’
Both teams say their feelings are as in the previous round.
Shunzei says, ‘The final stanza ‘At the mountain – blossom-covered – yet not on its western side alone…’ (hana saku yama wa nishi o wakanedo) appears particularly splendid. The Right’s ‘I cannot spend my days: dwelling on a mountain’ (kurashi zo kanuru yamazato no) is also good, but ‘The blossoms not yet blooming’ (hana sakanu ma) would be more appropriate for a poem on the end of the First, or beginning of the Second Month. Wouldn’t it?’
Neither team has any comments to make about the other’s poem this round.
Shunzei states, ‘The Left seem to touch on the topic of the round only distantly, while the Right’s ‘Time passes, so I should regret’ (tsumoreba oshiki) appears particularly splendid. It must be the winner.
Both teams say they don’t think much thought has gone into the other’s poem.
Shunzei takes the opportunity here to show off his erudition, saying, ‘In the Right’s poem, doing such a thing as many times as Zai Yu would be appallingly lazy, would it not? The Left’s “yearning for dusk” (kurashiwazurau), however, is a superb expression. I must make them the winner.”
Neither team can find any particular fault with the other’s poem this round.
Shunzei says, ‘Both poems are on “lengthening days”, and both – the Left’s “warblers’ multitude of twitters” (uguisu no momo saezuri) and the Right’s “choir of cranes” (tsuru no morogoe) – have a tranquil air and sound excellent. Again, I must make them a tie.’
The Right team once again rate the Left’s poem as ‘satisfying’, while the Left say the Right’s is ‘especially satisfying. ’
Shunzei’s judgement is that ‘the Left’s “hazy moonlight from the daybreak sky” (tsuki kage kasumu ariake no sora) and the Right’s “Misty moonlit dawning sky” (oborozukiyo no akebono no sora) are both splendid. It is difficult, indeed, to decide between them. Another excellent tie.’
Both teams praise the other’s poems this round, saying they are ‘satisifying.’
Shunzei says, ‘Both poems are on ‘spring dawn’, the Left ‘long ago hazed’ (mukashi ni kasumu) and the Right ‘remaining in the heart’ (kokoro ni nokore): both are equally charming in form and sense. This is a good tie.’
The Right team have no particular remarks to make about the Left’s poem this round, but the Left state that the Right’s poem is ‘most satisfying.’
Shunzei’s judgement is: ‘The Left’s “Is this haze?” (kasumi ka wa) seems like it wants to be “Is this just haze?” (kasumi nomi ka wa). “In blossom and warbler song am I sealed” (hana uguisu ni tojirarete) and “my home this dawn” (yado no akebono) remind one of “the lofty palace of Shinsei stands behind warblers and blossom” and this is excellent. As for the Right’s poem, this is particularly moving, with its depiction of the scene “departing from the waves, narrow clouds trail across the sky” (nami ni hanaruru yokogumo no sora), recalling “the pine-clad peak of Sué” (sue no matsuyama). The poem does start with “hazes rise” (kasumi tatsu) and having “haze” (kasumi), “wave” (nami) and “cloud” (kumo) means the poem is somewhat overburdened with similar imagery. “Narrow clouds trail across the sky”, though, does make a particularly strong impression, and the Left’s poem is merely satisfying, as has been said. Thus, “my home this dawn” must lose, I think.’
Neither team has any particular remarks to make about the other’s poems this round.
Shunzei, too, merely says, ‘Both poems make splendid use of places such as ‘the Palace at Takatsu’ (takatsu no miya), ‘close by to Naniwa’ (naniwa watari) and ‘dawn’ (akebono). It is difficult to decide on which is better. The round must, therefore, be a tie.’
The Right state that, ‘it does not seem as if much thought has been given to the placement of “the dawn in springtime” (haru no akebono). Given that it appears in the topic, why build up to it in such a roundabout way?’ The Left, however, have no comments to make on the Right’s poem.