Stags and the Dawn
Round Five
Left
暁になりやしぬらん小倉山なく鹿のねに月かたぶきぬ
| akatsuki ni nari ya shinuran ogurayama naku shika no ne ni tsuki katabukinu | Is the dawning On its way, I wonder? On gloomy Mount Ogura Crying, a stag bell out As the moon sets. |
Mototoshi, Former Assistant Captain in the Palace Guards, Left Division
9
Right
暁や声高砂になく鹿をほのかにやきく沖の舟人
| akatsuki ya koe takasago ni naku shika o honoka ni ya kiku oki no funabito | At the dawning From the heights, the bell, at Takasago Of a stag Is faintly heard, perhaps, By the boatmen on the offing… |
Head
10
The Left’s poem lacks any superlative diction, yet does not appear to have any glaring faults either. As for the Right’s poem, I do question the placement of ‘at’ in ‘at the dawning’ and, in addition, the order seems reversed in ‘From the heights, the bell, at Takasago / Of a stag’—so much so that I find it difficult to grasp the sense. If the poem had been composed to put ‘stag’ before ‘heights of Takasago’, the poem would feel more trustworthy, wouldn’t it.
Left
ゆふざれもさらにまたれずあさぼらけおきゆくみちのつゆとけぬべし
| yūzare mo sara ni matarezu asaborake okiyuku michi no tsuyu to kenubeshi | For eventide, Again, I cannot wait, but At the dawning Rise and go—my path filled With lasting dew, it seems. |
24
Right
あはぬよはわびてもねにきあかつきのわかれのみちはまどはれぞする
| awanu yo wa wabite mo ne ni ki akatsuki no wakare no michi wa madoware zo suru | Nights we fail to meet Are desolate, but when I have come and slept with you The dawn’s Parting path Leaves me lost! |
25
Composed when the Naka Chancellor [Fujiwara no Michitaka] returned from another woman’s residence with the dawn, but rather than coming in, remained outside and went back to his own house.
暁のつゆはまくらにおきけるを草葉のうへとなにおもひけん
| akatuki no tuyu Fa makura ni okikeru wo kusaba no uFe to nani omoFiken | At the dawning Dewdrops upon my pillow Have fallen, but Resting atop a blade of grass— Is that what you think of me? [1] |
The Kō Handmaid
[1] An allusive variation on Izumi shikibu-shū 304/Mandaishū XVIII: 3559.
