Sent to a woman.
天の戸をあけぬあけぬと言ひなして空鳴きしつる鳥の声かな
| ama no to o akenu akenu to iinashite sora nakishitsuru tori no koe kana |
“The gates of Heaven Are open! Are open!” Cries A song from the sky In a bird’s call… |
Anonymous
Tag Archives: sky
Fubokushō IX: 3544
Fubokushō V: 1689
Love IV: 21
Left (Win).
あらましに心は盡きぬ今夜とて待たばと思ふ夕暮の空
| aramashi ni kokoro wa tsukinu koyoi tote mataba to omou yūgure no sora |
Wondering if it will it be Has been the sole focus of my thoughts; Tonight, he said – ‘If only you could wait,’ so thinks The evening sky… |
Lord Ari’ie.
821
Right.
心さへかきくらすかなつくづくと思ひ入り日の空を眺めて
| kokoro sae kakikurasu kana tsukuzuku to omoi irihi no sora o nagamete |
My very heart Is sunk in darkness; On and on, Go my thoughts with the setting sun, Gazing at the sky… |
Lord Tsune’ie.
822
The Right state: we find no faults. The Left state: saying ‘on and on’ (tsukuzuku) seems somewhat weak.
In judgement: the final line of the Left’s poem sounds elegant. Again, I make the Left the winner.
Love IV: 19
Left (Win).
つれなくて今日も過ぬと思には暮るゝ空さへ恨めしき哉
| tsurenakute kyō mo suginu to omou ni wa kururu sora sae urameshiki kana |
Heartlessly Has she spent today, I think, and Evening the darkening sky Do I despise! |
Lord Suetsune.
817
Right.
あやにくに物ぞ悲しき待ちし日は曇る空さへ嬉しかりしを
| ayaniku ni mono zo kanashiki machishi hi wa kumoru sora sae ureshikarishi o |
Unexpectedly, All is sadness; All day I waited, and The very clouding of the sky Was a joy, but… |
Lord Takanobu.
818
The Right: we find no faults to mention. The Left state: ‘The very clouding’ (kumoru sae koso) does not sound like a reference to the evening.
In judgement: in the Right’s poem, as it begins with ‘unexpectedly’ (ayaniku ni), it then becomes unnecessary to mention clouding. The Left’s poem is pleasant. It should win.
Shūgyokushū 916
Love IV: 4
Left.
つれなさの類までやはつらからぬ月をも愛でじ在明の空
| tsurenasa no tagui made ya wa tsurakaranu tsuki o mo medeji ariake no sora |
Heartless on parting are you, And just so is the Indifferent Moon – no more will I care for it! – In the sky at dawn. |
Lord Ari’ie.
787
Right (Win).
逢ふと見る情もつらし暁の露のみ深き夢の通い路
| au to miru nasake mo tsurashi akatsuki no tsuyu nomi fukaki yume no kayoiji |
We met, I saw, and How fond were you, but how cruel The dawn, when I was drenched with dew alone from The path of dreams… |
Lord Takanobu.
788
The Gentlemen of the Right state: if the Left allude to the poem ‘At the dawning / How cruel it seemed / To part’, then this poem refers to the cruelty of a lover, but their poem suggests that the moon is the cruel one. Is this appropriate? In response: ‘At the dawning / How cruel it seemed’ can also be interpreted as referring to the moon. The Gentlemen of the Left state: the Right use the diction ‘fond’ (nasake), but the sense of this does not follow in the poem.
In judgement: the Left builds on the poem which starts ‘At the dawning / How cruel it seemed / To part, but’ and then says more than the lover’s heartlessness, ‘The fading moon / Cared not at all.’ So, given that this is the case, it’s not really saying anything different from ‘No more will I care for the moon!’ As for the Right, it sounds as if the lover’s fondness appears in the ‘dream’ (yume), but the final section seems good. The Right’s poem is somewhat superior.
Miscellaneous 82
Left (Tie).
いく世へぬかざし折けんいにしへに三輪の檜原の苔の通路
| ikuyo henu kazashi oriken inishie ni miwa no hihara no koke no kayoiji |
How many ages passed? Twigs plucked and placed in hair, Long ago In Miwa’s cypress groves, Along the moss-covered paths… |
163
Right
見ずしらずうづもれぬ名の跡やこれたなびき渡る夕暮の雲
| mizu shirazu uzumorenu na no ato ya kore tanabiki wataru yūgure no sora |
Unseen, unknown, Of an everlasting name This the only trace, Trailing across The evening sky? |
164
Sagoromo monogatari
消えはてて煙は空にかすむとも雲のけしきを我としらじな
| kiehatete keburi wa sora ni kasumu tomo kumo no keshiki o ware to shiraji na | All but gone, The smoke across the sky Is hazed, yet In the vista of the clouds, You would not know ’tis I. |
211
In reply:
かすめよな思ひ消えなむ煙にもたちおくれてはくゆらざらまし
| kasumeyo na omoi kienamu keburi ni mo tachiokurete wa kuyurazaramashi | O, let it be hazed! Should I from love’s fires, and In smoke Drift away, I would not want to waver! |
212
