Left.
松陰にいかで時雨の漏りつらん岩本柞初紅葉せり
matsu kage ni ikade shigure no moritsuran iwamoto hahaso hatsu momijiseri |
Beneath the pine trees’ shade Why has the shower Drenched all? The oak tree, at the crag-foot Has its first scarlet leaf. |
439
Right.
山科の岩田の小野に秋暮れて風に色ある柞原かな
yamashina no iwata no ono ni aki kurete kaze ni iro aru hahasowara kana |
In Yamashina At Iwata-no-Ono Autumn is almost done Its hues are in the wind Upon the oak groves. |
440
The Right ask whether the Left can cite a poem as a precedent for the expression ‘oak tree, at the crag-foot’ (iwamoto hahaso). The Left respond that they cannot bring one to mind immediately. However, ‘crag-foot’ is often used about a range of plants of various kinds. Thus, where is the fault in using it? The Left have no criticisms to make of the Right’s poem.
Shunzei’s judgement: It is not particularly important whether there is a precedent for the Left’s use of ‘oak tree, at the crag-foot’ [shōka no yūmu ni oyobubekarazu]. The final section, ‘has its first scarlet leaf’(hatsu momijiseri), however, given that what comes before is a standard poem [tsune no uta], is somewhat over-explicit [niwaka ni kotogotoshiku haberumere]. The Right’s poem has nothing particular to say. Starting with ‘Yamashina’ sounds overly blunt [amari ni tashika ni kikoetaru]. In addition, the final section displays no deep thought [munen narubeshi]. So, again, the round is a tie.