Round Seven

Left

ほととぎすひとこゑなきてすぎぬれどしたふ心ぞちぢにありける

hototogisu hitokoe nakite suginuredo shitau kokoro zo chiji ni arikeru

The cuckoo A single call cried out, and Passed me by, yet Missing him, my heart He left in a thousand, thousand pieces.

Lady Kazusa
27

Right (Win)

ほととぎすくものたえまにもる月のかげほのかにもなきわたるかな

hototogisu kumo no taema ni moru tsuki no kage honoka ni mo nakiwataru kana

The cuckoo, as From a gap between the clouds Drips the moon’s Light, faintly Calls on!

Lady Shikibu
28

Both poems are of the same quality.

The Left’s poem really makes me wonder why that should be the case, with the final ‘he left’ putting me in mind of someone in court dress who has forgotten to put on his shoes! The Right’s poem appears rather more bright than it needs to be. Furthermore, if one says that the ‘light is faint’ then shouldn’t the moon be hidden by the clouds? It’s vague over that, but if there were a prior poem as precedent, then it would be a good composition. For the present, I will make it the winner.