Spring III: 21

Left (Win).


kasumi no sue no
araoda ni
kawazu mo haru no
kure uramunari
Through the haze upon
The unplanted paddy fields
The frogs, too, spring’s
Passing mourn.

Lord Sada’ie.




ide no kawazu wa
nami no ue ni zo
koe wa kikoyuru
Hidden in the waters,
The frogs of Ide
Swarm, yet
Across the waves
Come their cries.

Lord Tsune’ie.


The Right wonder about the appropriateness of ‘through the haze upon’ (kasumi no sue), while the Left content themselves with saying the Right’s poem is ‘trite.’

Shunzei states that, ‘“Through the haze upon the unplanted paddy fields” (kasumi no sue no araoda) is a particularly desolate image, but I do wonder if it’s appropriate here. “Hidden in the waters, the frogs of Ide swarm” (migakurete ide no kawazu) certainly sounds as if it were based on a prior example, but I find myself unable to recall it at present. Having both “across the waves” (nami no ue) and “the frogs of Ide” (ide no kawazu), however, is excessive. The left seems the winner.’

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