Left (Tie).
omoi’oku
Leaving behind one
Lord Kanemune
Right.
kawariyuku
The shifting
Ietaka
Both Left and Right say together: we can see no faults to mention.
In judgement: the Left’s poem is charming in style. The conception of the Right’s ‘teardrops’ shades’ (namida no iro) shifting is elegant, but both poems seem to be simply lamenting that one has gone on a journey, and there is little conception of love in them. They are equivalent and the round should tie.
Left (Win).
makura ni mo
Upon my pillow and
A Servant Girl
Right.
kusamakura
Pillowed on the grass,
Lord Tsune’ie .
The Right state they have no criticisms of the Left’s poem. The Left merely say that the Right’s poem is ‘old-fashioned’.
Shunzei’s judgement: The Left’s ‘dew drops’ (tsuyu no tama ) falling so widely at Sayo-no-Nakayama one can surmise to be deeply expressive of the concept of travel. The Right’s Akashi Bay is a place strongly associated with the sad sound of the wind and the waves, but the final ‘makes even more fall’ (ochimasarikeru ) is insufficient. Thus, the Left should win.
草深く荒たる宿の灯火の風にきえぬは蛍なりけり
kusa Fukaku
Deep within the grasses
その駒ぞや 我に 我に草請ふ 草は取り飼はむ 水は取り飼はむや
sono koma ya
O, my steed,
Anonymous
日数ゆく野原篠原夏深し分入る袖の露の草摺
hikazu yuku
The days go by, and
Fujiwara no Shunzei
On deer.
さを鹿の小野の草伏いちしろく我がとはなくに人の知れらく
sawosika no
The stag
Anonymous
On deer.
さを鹿の朝伏す小野の草若み隠らひかねて人に知らゆな
sawosika no
The stag
Anonymous
On frogs.
草枕旅に物思ひ我が聞けば夕かたまけて鳴くかはづかも
kusa makura
Pillowed on the grass,
Anonymous
春の野の下草靡き我れも寄りにほひ寄りなむ友のまにまに
haru no no no
In the spring meadows,
Frogs (蛙)
たかせ舟のぼるほり江の水を浅み草がくれにてかはづなくなり
takasebune noboru horie no mizu o asami kusagakure nite kawazu nakunari Skips
Minamoto no Akinaka (1058-1138)
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'Simply moving and elegant'