Left (Tie).
我戀や晴れゆくままの空の雲よそにのみして消ぬべき哉
| wa ga koi ya hareyuku mama no sora no kumo yoso ni nomi shite kienubeki kana |
Is my love As the clearing Clouds with within the skies? While you remain distant Must I fade away… |
Lord Ari’ie.
921
Right.
をのづから閨もる月も影消えてひとりかなしき浮雲の空
| onozukara neya moru tsuki mo kage kiete hitori kanashiki ukigumo no sora |
From my Bedchamber the flooding moon Light has vanish; To be alone is sad, as The heartless drifting, clouds. |
Lord Takanobu.
922
The Right state: the central line of the Left’s poem is stiff. The Left state: the Right’s poem has no particular faults.
In judgement: the statements in regard to both poems are at variance with my own opinion. I will refrain from expressing that here, although I do regret that, somewhat. If, indeed, a central line is core, then it is better for it to lack connection with the remainder of the poem. In the case of the Left’s poem, however, it seems well linked with what follows. As for the Right’s poem, ‘bedchamber the flooding moon’ (neya moru tsuki) is not phrasing which is acceptable to me. However, the Left’s initial section seems pleasant, and the Right’s final section is elegant. Thus, the round is a tie.