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Naidaijin-ke uta’awase 23

Round Eleven

Left (Both Judges – Tie)

こけのむす岩ねに残る八重ぎくはや千代さくとも君ぞみるべき

koke no musu
iwane ni nokoru
yaegiku wa
yachiyo saku tomo
kimi zo mirubeki
Choked with moss are
The crags where linger
Eightfold chrysanthemums:
E’en were they eight thousand ages a’bloom
My Lord would have beheld them, no doubt!

Lady Shinano
45

Right

霜がれに我ひとりとや白菊の色をかへても人にみすらん

shimogare ni
ware hitori to ya
shiragiku no
iro o kaetemo
hito ni misuran
‘Burned by frost
‘Tis me alone!’ thinks
A white chrysanthemum,
Changing hue
To show to folk, for sure.

Lord Tokimasa
46

Toshiyori states: I wonder if there is a poem as precedent for chrysanthemums lingering beneath moss-covered crags? If not, it’s a very crude expression. The ending of the poem is antiquated, too. As for the second poem ‘“Tis me alone!” thinks’ does not sound satisfactory. The assembled company settled the matter of the final ‘folk’, so I must make this a tie.

Mototoshi states: whether they are placed by a brushwood fence, or at the base of a crag, chrysanthemums feel like pines. As for the Right, having a chrysanthemum seem to think ‘‘tis me alone’ is speculative—had it been something like ‘this bloom opens’ then it would have been the poet’s thoughts. Neither of these is of quality to win or lose, so I make them a tie.

Teishi-in ominaeshi uta’awase 16

いまよりはなでておほさむをみなへしときあるあきにあふとおもへば

ima yori wa
nadete ōsamu
ominaeshi
toki aru aki ni
au to omoeba
From this point on
With gentle caresses will I raise
This maidenflower,
That an auspicious autumn
She would meet—I thought…

Nochikata
31

あきぎりにゆくへやまどふをみなへしはかなくのべにひとりほのめく

akigiri ni
yukue ya madou
ominaeshi
hakanaku nobe ni
hitori honomeku
In the autumn mists
Has she lost her way?
A maidenflower
Fleetingly in the meadows
Did I faintly glimpse alone…

Susugu
32

Kanpyō no ōntoki kisai no miya uta’awase 95

Left

ひとりぬる我が手枕を昼はほし夜はぬらして幾代へぬらん

hitori nuru
wa ga tamakura o
hiru wa hoshi
yo wa nurashite
iku yo henuran
Sleeping alone,
Pillowed on my arm,
In daytime it’s dry, and
At night it’s drenched—
How many ages will pass by so?

184[1]

Right

ほのに見し人におもひをつけそめて心からこそしたにこがるれ

hono ni mishi
hito ni omoi o
tsukesomete
kokoro kara koso
shita ni kogarure
Faintly did I see
Her, and the fires of passion
First ignited;
From within my heart,
I secretly smoulder.

185[2]


[1] Shinsenzaishū XII: 1251/This poem is also included in Mandaishū (XII: 2360) with the headnote, ‘A poem from the Poetry Contest in One Hundred Rounds held by the Tōin Empress’.

[2] A minor variant of this poem, with a headnote attributing it to this contest, appears in Shokukokinshū (XI: 1038): よそにみし人におもひをつけそめてこころからこそしたにこがるれ yoso ni mishi / hito ni omoi o / tsukesomete / kokoro kara koso / shita ni kogarure ‘Casually did I see / Her, and the fires of passion / First ignited; / From within my heart, / I secretly smoulder.’

Kanpyō no ōntoki kisai no miya uta’awase 93

Left

ひとりぬる身の衣ではうみなれやみるに涙ぞまなくよせけれ

hitori nuru
mi no koromode wa
umi nare ya
miru ni namida zo
ma naku yosekere
Sleeping alone
Is my sleeve
The sea?
For looking upon it, waves of tears
Break there ceaselessly.

180

Right

年をへてもゆてふふじの山よりもあはぬ思ひは我ぞまされる

toshi o hete
moyu chō fuji no
yama yori mo
awanu omoi wa
ware zo masareru
Through all the passing years
Burns Fuji;
Far more than the mountain,
Not meeting you, the flames of passion,
Burn brightly in me.

181[1]


[1] Shikashū VII: 202/Shinchokusenshū XII: 710

Love VI: 11

Left (Tie).
我戀や晴れゆくままの空の雲よそにのみして消ぬべき哉

wa ga koi ya
hareyuku mama no
sora no kumo
yoso ni nomi shite
kienubeki kana
Is my love
As the clearing
Clouds with within the skies?
While you remain distant
Must I fade away…

Lord Ari’ie.
921

Right.
をのづから閨もる月も影消えてひとりかなしき浮雲の空

onozukara
neya moru tsuki mo
kage kiete
hitori kanashiki
ukigumo no sora
From my
Bedchamber the flooding moon
Light has vanish;
To be alone is sad, as
The heartless drifting, clouds.

Lord Takanobu.
922

The Right state: the central line of the Left’s poem is stiff. The Left state: the Right’s poem has no particular faults.

In judgement: the statements in regard to both poems are at variance with my own opinion. I will refrain from expressing that here, although I do regret that, somewhat. If, indeed, a central line is core, then it is better for it to lack connection with the remainder of the poem. In the case of the Left’s poem, however, it seems well linked with what follows. As for the Right’s poem, ‘bedchamber the flooding moon’ (neya moru tsuki) is not phrasing which is acceptable to me. However, the Left’s initial section seems pleasant, and the Right’s final section is elegant. Thus, the round is a tie.