Winter II: 26

Left (Win).

河竹のなびく葉風も年暮れて三世の佛の御名を聞くかな

kawatake no
nabiku hakaze mo
toshi kurete
miyo no hotoke no
mina o kiku kana
Bamboo by the river,
Leaves streaming in the breeze, and
The ending of the year, with
The three worlds’ Buddhas
Honoured names – I hear them both…

Lord Sada’ie.

591

Right.

嬉しくも罪は夜の間に消えぬ也暮行く年や身に積るらむ

ureshiku mo
tsumi wa yo no ma ni
kienu nari
kureyuku toshi ya
mi ni tsumoruramu
How pleasant that
One’s sins in the space of a night
Do disappear, and
The year fading into dusk
Seems to lie upon me!

Ietaka.

592

The Gentlemen of the Right state: the Left’s poem has no faults. The Gentlemen of the Left state: the Right’s poem is pedestrian [tsune no koto nari].

Shunzei’s judgement: the sound of ‘Bamboo by the river, leaves streaming’ (kawatake no nabiku), leading to ‘the three worlds’ Buddhas’ (miyo no hotoke) is not a particularly good expression. In the Right’s poem, if it was changed to ‘the disappearance of one’s sins is pleasant, but’ (tsumi no kiyuru koto wa ureshiki o), this would be more in line with the conception of the final section of the poem. By beginning ‘how pleasant that’ (ureshiku mo) it sounds as if the poet is pleased to bear another year, too. I wonder, is ‘bamboo by the river’ a recollection of the Palace Gardens? The Left should win.

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