Left (Win).
河竹のなびく葉風も年暮れて三世の佛の御名を聞くかな
| kawatake no nabiku hakaze mo toshi kurete miyo no hotoke no mina o kiku kana |
Bamboo by the river, Leaves streaming in the breeze, and The ending of the year, with The three worlds’ Buddhas Honoured names – I hear them both… |
591
Right.
嬉しくも罪は夜の間に消えぬ也暮行く年や身に積るらむ
| ureshiku mo tsumi wa yo no ma ni kienu nari kureyuku toshi ya mi ni tsumoruramu |
How pleasant that One’s sins in the space of a night Do disappear, and The year fading into dusk Seems to lie upon me! |
592
The Gentlemen of the Right state: the Left’s poem has no faults. The Gentlemen of the Left state: the Right’s poem is pedestrian [tsune no koto nari].
Shunzei’s judgement: the sound of ‘Bamboo by the river, leaves streaming’ (kawatake no nabiku), leading to ‘the three worlds’ Buddhas’ (miyo no hotoke) is not a particularly good expression. In the Right’s poem, if it was changed to ‘the disappearance of one’s sins is pleasant, but’ (tsumi no kiyuru koto wa ureshiki o), this would be more in line with the conception of the final section of the poem. By beginning ‘how pleasant that’ (ureshiku mo) it sounds as if the poet is pleased to bear another year, too. I wonder, is ‘bamboo by the river’ a recollection of the Palace Gardens? The Left should win.