kuraiyama mine no sakura o kazashitemo hito wa mono o ya nao omouramu
Even should I Mount Kurai’s Cherry blossom from the peak Wear in my hair, As a man would such gloomy Thoughts still fill me?
Lord Sane’ie 109
Right
ありてこそあらぬすがたになりもせめうしとていかがみをばなぐべき
arite koso aranu sugata ni nari mo seme ushi tote ikaga mi oba nagubeki
I live on, so My former state I have abandoned; How can I all the cruelties Cast from my flesh?
Atsuyori 110
The Left’s configuration and conception are truly charming. The writer is troubled, isn’t he! In particular, the configuration of ‘As a man would such gloomy / Thoughts still fill me?’ sounds especially pleasant. For the Right, the tone of ‘How can I all the cruelties’ also seems pleasant, but still, I make the Left the winner.
akugaruru tama to miekemu natsumushi no omoi wa ima zo omoishirinuru
As my wandering Soul do appear The fireflies— Those feelings, now, How well I know!
Kojijū 107
Right (Win)
いはずともおもひはそらにしりぬらむあまくだりますすみよしのかみ
iwazu tomo omoi wa sora ni shirinuramu amakudarimasu sumiyoshi no kami
Needless to say My feelings within the skies Are well-known by The heaven-descended God of Sumiyoshi!
Lord Sanemori 108
The poem of the Left appears to have a deep conception. However, this poem should be composed about the emotions expressed in Izumi Shikibu’s poem ‘Fireflies by the marsh: / From my breast’.[1] If so, then by having something like ‘As my wandering / Soul the fireflies / Do appear’, it appears as if you know how Izumi Shikibu felt. Here, though, we have ‘As my wandering / Soul do appear / The fireflies’ and this sounds as if you know how the fireflies feel—in which case it seems more in keeping with the poem by the Katsura Princess which says, ‘Their bodies bringing an excess / Of passion’s fires’.[2] Then again, does the diction, ‘As my wandering / Soul do appear’, perhaps, differ from this? The poem of the Right has nothing particularly evocative in its use of diction, but ‘My feelings within the skies’ and following this with ‘The heaven-descended’ at least sounds as if has a purpose to it. The Right wins, I should say.
[1] When she had been forgotten by a man, she went to Kibune, and composed this on seeing fireflies flitting about by the Mitarashi River. 物思へば澤の螢も我身よりあくがれ出づる玉かとぞみる mono’omoeba / sawa no hotaru mo / wa ga mi yori / akugare izuru / tama ka to zo miru ‘I’m at such a loss; / Fireflies by the marsh: / From my breast / Wanders out / My soul, or so it seems.’ Izumi Shikibu (GSIS XX: 1162)
[2] When Princess Katsura had said ‘Catch some fireflies,’ and one of the boys had them wrapped up in the sleeves of his jacket. つつめどもかくれぬ物は夏虫の身よりあまれる思ひなりけり tsutsumedomo / kakurenu mono wa / natsumushi no / mi yori amareru / omoinarikeri ‘Wrapped up, yet / Unconcealable are / The summer insects: / Their bodies bringing an excess / Of passion’s fires.’ Anonymous (GSS IV: 209)
aware to ya kami mo omowamu suminoe no fukaku tanomi o kakuru mi nareba
‘How sad,’ does The God, too, think? For at Suminoe Deep in devotions Am I entangled…
Lord Tsunemori 105
Right
たのみつるこのひとむらの人ごとにちとせをゆづれすみよしのまつ
tanomitsuru kono hitomura no hito goto ni chitose o yuzure sumiyoshi no matsu
Devoted are This group of folk, so To each and every one Grant a thousand years, O, pines of Sumiyoshi!
Lord Yorisuke 106
The poem of the Left, saying ‘deep in devotions’ and suchlike, is pleasant, I have to say. Does the poem of the Right’s ‘this group of folk’ refer to the current poets or to the speaker’s own household? Well, whichever it is, the conception of devotion does not appear to be slight, but again I say this is a tie.
