Category Archives: Poetry Competition in Six Hundred Rounds

Poetry Competition in Six Hundred Rounds

Spring I: 21

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Left.

名に立てる老蘇の杜の下草も年若しとや二葉なるらん

na ni tateru
oiso no mori no
shita kusa mo
toshi wakashi to ya
futaba naruran		 By repute,
Ancient is the sacred grove of Oiso, yet
Here, too, the undergrowth,
Perhaps with the year’s youth,
Puts forth new leaves.

Lord Suetsune

41

Right (Win).

霜置きし去年の枯葉の殘るませにそれとも見えぬ春の若草

shimo okishi
kozo no kareha no
nokoru mase ni
sore tomo mienu
haru no waka kusa		 Frost fell
Last year on the withered leaves
Remaining on this brushwood fence, yet
It does not seem so for
The fresh growth of spring.

Nobusada

42

The Right team have nothing to say about the Left’s poem in this round, while the Left merely wonder whether the fact that the Right’s poem has six syllables in its middle line means that it doesn’t scan correctly.

Shunzei comments testily that fashionably using expressions with contradictory connotations, such as the ‘ancient sacred grove’ and ‘year’s youth’ is ‘platitudinous’. The Right’s poem, however, is ‘without doubt, extremely affecting’. There are many cases where lines with six or seven syllables are used in place of a five syllable one in the centre of a poem – particularly when the final line is ‘independent’, although this has yet to be ‘well understood’. So, for appropriately using this, the right deserves the victory.

Poetry Competition in Six Hundred Rounds

Spring I: 20

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Left (Tie).

立わたる野邊の霞を煙にてもえ出にけるこれや若草

tachiwataru
nobe no kasumi o
keburi nite
moe’idenikeru
kore ya wakakusa		 Spreading, everywhere,
Across the plain, the haze
Seems smoke:
Is the burning the buds
Of new-grown grass…

Lord Kanemune

39

Right (Tie).

もえ出づる野邊の春草末わかみ空とゝもにぞ淺緑なる

moeizuru
nobe no haru kusa
sue wakami
sora to tomo ni zo
asamidori naru		 Shooting up
Across the plain, the grass’
Tips are so young
That, with the skies,
They celadon seem…

The Provisional Master of the Empress’ Household Office.

40

Both teams say there is ‘nothing remarkable’ about the other’s poem, while Shunzei says simply the purport of both is ‘generally appropriate’ and that it would be ‘difficult to determine’ a winner.

Poetry Competition in Six Hundred Rounds

Spring I: 19

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Left (Tie).

荒れめれば縄絶つ駒をいかにしてつなぎとむらん野邊の初草

aremereba
nawa tatsu koma o
ika ni shite
tsunagitomuran
nobe no hatsugusa		 Seeming driven wild and
Tether snapping is my steed:
How might
He be tied,
By the fresh grasses on the plain?

Kenshō

37

Right (Tie).

けさ見れば澤の若芹下根とけ緑にはゆる雪のむら消え

kesa mireba
sawa no wakazeri
shitane toke
midori ni hayuru
yuki no mura kie		 Looking this morning on
The fresh dropwort by the marsh,
Melting round the roots –
So greenly growing –
Snow spots were vanishing.

Lord Takanobu

38

The Right team comment here that the Left’s poem is in the same spirit as Shun’e’s poem in the Shikashū (SKS I: 12). Into this has been inserted the additional idea of ‘tether snapping’ (nawa tatsu), and this is ‘grating on the ear’.

The Left team, in turn, say that the Right’s poem contains both ‘melting’ (toke) and ‘vanishing’ (kie) and this is an error. (Japanese poetics held that a poem should not contain two words with identical meanings.) It is also ‘undesirable’ to use ‘growing’ (hayuru).

Shunzei comments that the Right team have correctly identified the resemblance of the Left’s poem to that by the Monk Shun’e, and in such poems, it is commonplace not to avoid this. However, as in Taira no Sadafun’s poem in the Shūishū (SIS XVIII: 1185). ‘Tether snapping’ (nawa tatsu) is used of approaching a woman. (Nawa tatsu 縄絶つ ‘tether snapping’ is homophonous with na wa tatsu 名は立つ ‘one’s name would arise (in conversation)’ – in other words, ‘be gossiped about’.) Here, though, it is simply used about breaking a rope, or cord, and ‘is this not mundane?’ The Right’s poem starts ‘very well’, but to use ‘growing’ (hayuru) is ‘not good at all’. Both poems are ‘commonplace’ and so neither deserves a win.

Poetry Competition in Six Hundred Rounds

Spring I: 18

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Left (Tie).

木の間より日影や花をもらすらん松の岩根の水の白波

ko no ma yori
hikage ya hana o
morasuran
matsu no iwane no
mizu no shiranami		 Between the trees,
The sunlight these blooms
Does seem to drench:
The pine-rooted crags’
White-capped waves of water.

A Servant Girl

35

Right (Tie).

春來れば氷をはらふ谷風の音にぞつゞく山川の水

haru kureba
kōri o harau
tanikaze no
oto ni zo tsuzuku
yamakawa no mizu		 Spring is come, so
Sweeping ‘way the ice,
The wind through the valley
Brings a constant sound:
Water in the mountain streams.

Nobusada

36

Neither team have any comments to make about the other’s poem.

Shunzei comments that both poems sound ‘excellent’, but the Left’s begins ‘between the trees’ (ko no ma yori) and then continues to mention ‘pines’: are the ‘trees’ pines? Or, are they a different type? Whichever is the case, this is, perhaps, a ‘compositional error’. As for the Right’s poem, the expression, ‘sweeping ‘way the ice/The wind through the valley’ (kôri o harau/tanikaze no) is ‘charming’, but he ‘greatly dislikes’ the use of tsuzuku. (It’s unclear why he says this, as he gives no further explanation: the commentators suggest that it could be that the word is too conventional, or that it was generally considered more attractive in poetry to have something ending, rather than continuing, or simply that he didn’t like the way the poem was read out on this occasion!) Given that both poems are ‘equally excellent’ , and that the Left is ‘unclear’ over its trees, a tie has to be awarded.

Poetry Competition in Six Hundred Rounds

Spring I: 17

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Left.

山川の氷のくさびうちとけて石にくだくる水の白波

yamakawa no
kōri no kusabi
uchitokete
ishi ni kudakuru
mizu no shiranami		 The mountain stream’s
Icy wedges
Are melting;
Broken on the rocks
In white-capped waves of water.

Lord Ari’ie

33

Right (Win).

春風に下ゆく浪の數見えて殘ともなき薄氷かな

harukaze ni
shita yuku nami no
kazu miete
nokoru tomonaki
usukōri kana		 With the breath of spring,
Flowing beneath, waves
In numbers can be seen;
Hardly any remains – just
A coating of ice.

Ietaka

34

Neither team have any comments to make about the other’s poem.

Shunzei remarks that the opening of the Left’s poem seems ‘old-fashioned’ (and hence is cliched). The conclusion is splendid, but would have been improve by the substitution of ‘crags’ (iwa) for ‘rocks’ (ishi). The Right’s poem, in the spirit of clarifying the numbers of waves of water flowing under a thin sheet of ice, ‘seems exceptional’, and so the latter poem is ‘slightly superior.’

Poetry Competition in Six Hundred Rounds

Spring I: 16

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Left (Tie).

春風に池の氷や解けぬらん待たれぬ浪の花を見る哉

haru kaze ni
ike no kôri ya
tokenuran
matarenu nami no
hana o miru kana		 In the breath of spring
Will the ice upon the pond
Melt?
Unanticipated blossom touched
Waves come into view…

Lord Kanemune.

31

Right (Tie).

鶯のなみだのつらゝ聲ながらたよりにさそへ春の山水

uguisu no
namida no tsurara
koe nagara
tayori ni sasoe
haru no yama mizu		 The bush warbler’s
Tears of ice,
And song,
Issue an invitation!
To the mountain waters this springtime…

Jakuren.

32

The Right team have no comments to make about the Left’s poem this round, but the Left wonder whether the essence of the poem, of the warbler’s ‘tears of ice’ and song inviting the waters, might not be a bit much?

Shunzei remarks that the form and phrasing of the Left’s poem is ‘certainly charming’, and echoes their criticism of the Right’s poem, as having an ‘impossible essence’. He then goes on to say, ‘The Left is placidly charming; the Right’s essence must be excessive. They are equivalent and I judge this round a tie.’

Poetry Competition in Six Hundred Rounds

Spring I: 15

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Left.

音すなり淺茅が下の忘水こほりしほどは知られざりしを

oto su nari
asaji ga shita no
wasuremizu
kōrishi hodo wa
shirarezarishi o		 The sound is heard
From beneath the sparse strands of cogon grass:
Forgotten streamlets which,
When frozen,
Were all unknown.

Lord Suetsune

29

Right (Win).

聞きなれし峰の嵐にいつしかとをとづれかはる谷のした水

kikinareshi
mine no arashi ni
itsushika to
otozure kawaru
tani no shitamizu		 Well accustomed to the howl
Of storm-winds round the peaks,
Suddenly,
The sound does change:
To waters running on the valley floor.

Lord Takanobu

30

The Right team have no comments to make about the Left’s poem this round, but the Left wonder whether storm-winds really blow in spring?

Shunzei comments that the opening of the Left’s poem is ‘extremely charming’. As for the criticism that storm-winds do not blow in spring, it’s ‘not the case that they do not blow at all’ at that time. After the end of spring, when storm-winds become gentler and their voice fainter, is when one must have poems in the spirit of rising waters flowing through the valleys. He also feels that ‘The sound does change:/To waters running on the valley floor.’ (otozure kawaru/tani no shitamizu) is superior to the Left’s ‘When frozen,/Were all unknown.’ (kôrishi hodo wa/shirarezarishi o), and so gives the Right the victory this round.

Poetry Competition in Six Hundred Rounds

Spring I: 14

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Left (Tie).

氷ゐし水の白浪立かへり春風しるき池の面かな

kōri i
shimizu no shiranami
tachikaeri
harukaze shiruki
ike no omo kana		 To the iced
Clear waters waves of white
Return again;
Spring’s breezes well know
This mere’s face.

Lord Sada’ie

27

Right (Tie).

諏方の海の氷のうへの通ひ路はけさ吹く風に跡絶えにけり

suwa no umi no
kōri no ue no
kayoiji wa
kesa fuku kaze ni
ato taenikeri		 At the Sea of Suwa
Upon the ice
The trackways,
With the breath of wind this morning
Have left no trace at all…

The Master of the Empress’ Household Office.

28

The Right team state that the concluding line of the Left’s poem, ‘this mere’s face’ (ike no omo kana) is ‘weak’. The Left team reply that the first three lines of the Right’s poem are identical to those of a poem by Minamoto no Akinaka (1064-1138), in the Hundred Poem Sequence from the Reign of Former Emperor Horikawa (a sequence composed by a number of poets between 1104-07 and presented to Horikawa):

諏方の海の氷のうへの通ひ路は神の渡りて解くるなりけり

suFa no umi no
koFori no uFe no
kayoFidi Fa
kami no watarite
tokuru narikeri		 At the Sea of Suwa
Upon the ice
The trackways,
With the passage of the God
Have melted.

and that this gave the poem its idea.

Shunzei comments that ‘waters waves of white/Return again’ is a ‘well-worn’ image with nothing special about it, and the Right team have already identified the weakness of the final line, and, of course, it ‘could not be as strong as a Deva King!’ As for the Right’s poem, he accepts the point made by the Left, but as it is not well-known that even in Hundred Poem sequences there are examples which are not ‘excellent work’, it is difficult to completely avoid composing poems with conceptions that resemble them. Thus, the round has to be a tie.

Poetry Competition in Six Hundred Rounds

Spring I: 13

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Left (Win).

つらゝゐし汀を渡る春風に池のこゝろも解けやしぬらん

tsuraraishi
migiwa o wataru
harukaze ni
ike no kokoro mo
toke ya shinuran		 The ice-bound
Waters’ edge a’crossing goes
The breath of spring;
Has the mere’s heart, too,
Melted?

Kenshō

25

Right.

雪つもろ峰に春日やさしつらむ谷の小川の水まさり行

yuki tsumoru
mine ni haruhi ya
sashitsuramu
tani no ogawa no
mizu masariyuku		 Upon the snow-laden
Peaks has the spring sun
Shone?
For the valley streamlets are
With water overflowing…

Lord Tsune’ie

26

Neither team had anything deep to say about the other’s poem this round.

Shunzei states that, while both are of the same quality, the phrase ‘spring sun’ (haruhi) was not one that he liked to see used (why remains unclear, although there is speculation that it was because it was an ancient term dating from the Man’yōshū), and so the Left’s poem was just the winner.

Poetry Competition in Six Hundred Rounds

Spring I: 12

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Left (Win).

空はなを霞もやらず風冴えて雪氣にくもる春の夜の月

sora wa nao
kasumi mo yarazu
kaze saete
yukige ni kumoru
haru no yo no tsuki		 The skies are still
Untouched by haze;
The wind clearly brings
A sense of snow to cloud
The moon, this springtime night.

A Servant Girl

23

Right.

梅が枝の匂ばかりや春ならんなを雪深し窓のあけぼの

ume ga e no
nioi bakari ya
haru naran
nao yuki fukashi
mado no akebono		 Is a branch of plum’s
Scent alone
Spring?
Still the snows lie deep
Outside my window this dawn.

Jakuren

24

Neither team has any criticisms to make of the other’s poem in this round.

Shunzei comments that both poems are simply and beautifully constructed in both form and phrasing, and the final two lines of both poems are equally charming. He feels, though, that the beginning of the Right’s poem would have been improved if, instead of ‘a branch of plum’ (ume ga e), which focuses the audience’s attention on the branch, and not the blossom, it had begun ‘Is the plum beneath my eaves’ (noki no ume), instead. In addition, while reluctant to discount ‘outside my window this dawn’ (mado no akebono), he cannot help but feel that ‘the moon, this springtime night’ (haru no yo no tsuki) is a more superlative conclusion, and so has to award victory to the Left.