Love IV: 28

Left (Win).
頼めぬを待ちつる宵も過果てゝつらさ閉ぢむる片敷の床

tanomenu o
machitsuru yoi mo
sugihatete
turasa tojimuru
katashiki no toko
He did not say he’d come, and so
To waiting through the night
I have put an end,
Sealing my unhappiness
In a single bed…

Lord Sada’ie.
835

Right.
我戀や衛士の焚く火となりぬらん夜のみひとり燃えあかす哉

wa ga koi ya
eshi no taku hi to
narinuran
yoru nomi hitori
moeakasu kana
Has my love, like
Conscripts’ kindled flame
Become?
Through the night alone
Afire?

Lord Tsune’ie.
836

The Right state: we wonder about the appropriateness of both ‘sealing’ (tojimuru) and ‘a single bed’ (katashiki no toko). The Left state: it sounds as if the ‘conscripts’ kindled flame’ (eshi no taku hi) is alone.

In judgement: the Left’s poem, beginning with ‘to waiting through the night I have put an end’ (machitsuru yoi mo sugihatete) and then continuing with ‘sealing my unhappiness’ (tsurasa tojimuru) does not sound bad, but ‘single bed’ should surely have been ‘sleeve’ (sode). The ‘conscripts kindled flame’ would certainly not have been ‘burning alone’ (hitori moyu). The Left should win, it seems.

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