Love V: 11

Left (Win).
葉を若みまだふし馴れぬ呉竹のこはしほるべき露の上かは

ha o wakami
mada fushinarenu
kuretake no
ko wa shiorubeki
tsuyu no ue ka wa
Fresh leaved, and
Not yet grown to knots in bed,
A bamboo
Maid: will she draw the
Kindly dew upon her?

Lord Sada’ie.
861

Right.
情なき風に従ふ姫百合は露けきことやならはざるらん

nasakenaki
kaze ni shitagau
himeyuri wa
tsuyukeki koto ya
narawazaruran
The heartless
Wind brushes
A young star lily:
To being dew drenched
Is she, perhaps, unaccustomed?

Lord Tsune’ie.
862

The Right state: the Left’s poem has not faults to indicate. The Left state: the Right’s poem lacks the conception of Love.

In judgement: the Left uses ‘bamboo’ (kuretake) and the Right ‘star lily’ (himeyuri): although the Left’s ‘Maid: will she draw’ (ko wa shiorubeki) does not seem possible to accept on grounds of style, but the Right, in addition to also lacking much conception of Love, has ‘heartless wind’ (nasakenaki kaze) which sounds poor. Thus, the Left should win, I think.

 

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