Left (Win).
袖の雪空吹く風もひとつにて花にゝほへる志賀の山越え
| sode no yuki sora fuku kaze mo hitotsu nite hana ni nioeru shiga no yamagoe |
The snow upon my sleeves Blown through the breezy skies Is one with The scent of blossom on The path across the Shiga Mountains. |
133
Right.
嵐吹く花の梢に跡見えて春も過ぎゆく志賀の山越え
| arashi fuku hana no kozue ni ato miete haru mo sugiyuku shiga no yamagoe |
Storm winds blow Blossom from the treetops: Footprints mark The passage of Spring on The path across the Shiga Mountains. |
134
The Right team remark about the Left’s poem that ‘beginning two lines with so (sode…sora) is grating’, while the Left have no criticisms to make of the Right’s poem.
Shunzei states, ‘The gentlemen of the Right have remarked upon the Left poem’s grating qualities. Nevertheless, does it not seem that this path across the Shiga Mountains is particularly intriguing? The Right’s poem mentions ‘blossom from the treetops/footprints mark’ (hana no kozue ni ato miete), but if the sense is that the blossom has already fallen, it seems that there would be little of interest in such a sight. The Left should win, I think.’