Left (Win).
戀死なんのちを思へば目にぞたつそのゆへもなき空の煙も
| koishinan nochi o omoeba me ni zo tatsu sono yue mo naki sora no keburi mo |
I shall die of love, and When I think on it What should touch my eyes But, lacking any meaning, Smoke rising to the skies… |
Lord Ari’ie.
951
Right.
戀ひ死なむ後は煙とあがるとも君が方へぞ猶なびくべき
| koishinamu nochi wa kemuri to agaru tomo kimi ga kata e zo nao nabikubeki |
When I have died of love Then, though as smoke I may rise, Still towards you I shall trail! |
Lord Tsune’ie.
952
The Right state: the Left’s poem has no faults. The Left state: we wonder about the use of ‘rise’ (agaru) in the Right’s poem.
In judgement: both poems have ‘die for love’ (koishinan), and there are no particular features of either which warrant a victory or a loss, but ‘touch my eyes’ (me ni tatsu) seems a little finer than the Right’s ‘rise’ (agaru) ‘towards’ (kata e zo).