[One of] twenty-four poems sent by Lady Kasa to Lord Ōtomo no Yakamochi.
わが形見見つつ偲はせあらたまの年の緒長くわれも思はむ
| wa ga katami mitutu sinopase aratama no tosi no wo nagaku ware mo omopamu |
On a keepsake of me Gaze and think of me; Fresh-jewelled as The years’ long thread Will my thoughts follow you. |
Left.
いかなりし世世の報ひのつらさにてこの年月に弱らざるらん
| ika narishi yoyo no mukui no tsurasa nite kono toshitsuki ni yowarazaruran |
How many are My lives blessed with Pain alone, that Through these passing years and months It shows no sign of weakening? |
Lord Sada’ie
775
Right.
年経にしつらきに堪へてながらふと聞かれんさへぞ今は悲しき
| toshi henishi tsuraki ni taete nagarau to kikaren sae zo ima wa kanashiki |
The years have passed In nothing but pain On and on; All you would hear from me, though, Is that, now, I am sad. |
Lord Takanobu
776
The Right state: ‘It shows no sign of weakening’ [yowarazaruran] seems unsatisfactory in its placement in this poem. The Left state: there are no faults to inidicate.
In judgement: the Left’s second section seems fine, but the initial section’s ‘pain alone’ (tsurasa) sounds overly forceful. However, in the Right’s poem ‘All you would hear from me, though, is that, now, I am sad’ (kikaren sae zo ima wa kanashiki) in the final section seems both overly explicit and somewhat weak. I cannot award a win this round.