Left.
この山の峰のむら雲吹まよひ槇の葉傳ひ霙降り來ぬ
kono yama no mine no murakumo fukimayoi maki no ha tsutai mizore furikonu |
About this mountain Peak, crowding clouds Go scudding by; The yew leaves tell the tale Of fallen sleet. |
523
Right (Win).
雪ならばかゝらましやはうち拂ふ袖もしほたるゝ霙降るなり
yuki naraba kakaramashi ya wa uchiharau sode mo shiotaruru mizore furunari |
Were it snow Would it be like this? Sweeping on My sleeves are drenched With the sleet that’s fallen! |
The Provisional Master of the Empress’ Household Office.
524
Neither Left nor Right find any fault.
Shunzei’s judgement: ‘Peak, crowding clouds go scudding by’ (mine no murakumo fukimayoi) sounds fine [yoroshiku kikoyuru], but preceding it with ‘About this mountain’ (kono yama no) is something I find myself particularly unable to accept, as I wonder to which mountain the poem refers. ‘Would it be like this? Sweeping on’ (kakaramashi ya wa uchiharau) connects well with what comes before and after it and sounds tasteful, more or less [nani to naku yū ni kikoehaberu]. The Right must win.