Winter I: 23

Left (Win)


tsumoru ka to
mietsuru yuki mo
mizore nite
fuyu no yamazato
Wondering at the fall
Of snow glimpsed as
It turns to sleet,
Gazing at the sight is sad, indeed,
Winterbound in my mountain home.

Lord Kanemune.




onaji sora yori
yuki fureba
shigure mo iro no
kawaru narikeri
Crowding clouds and when
From the self-same sky
Falls snow
The shower its very hue
Does change.



Neither the Left nor the Right find any fault with the other’s poems this round.

Shunzei’s judgement: Although the Left’s ‘wondering at the fall of snow glimpsed’ (tsumoru ka to mietsuru yuki mo) sounds as if a first fall of snow turns into sleet later, the latter part of the poem’s conception and diction are most fine [shimo no ku no kokoro kotoba koso yoroshiku haberumere]. The Right initially makes one wonder if it is snow falling, and then has ‘the shower its very hue’ (shigure mo iro no). Neither initially nor finally is there a mention of sleet. The Left’s ‘gazing at the sight is sad’ seems particularly good, too. Thus, the Left wins.

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