Love IV: 16

Left.
月を見てしばし思も忘られき晝間ぞ戀の慰めはなき

tsuki o mite
shibashi omoi mo
wasurareki
hiruma zo koi no
nagusame wa naki
Gazing at the moon
Briefly my sadness
I did forget; but
In the daylight, love is
No consolation, at all.

Lord Suetsune.
811

Right (Win).
傾かぬ妹が心に日影かな中空にのみ物思ひし

katabukanu
imo ga kokoro ni
hikage kana
nakazora ni nomi
mono’omoi shite
Not inclining is
My darling’s heart,
Just like this sunshine;
Upon the height of the heavens
Dwell my gloomy thoughts…

Nobusada.
812

The Right state: the Left’s poem has only ‘daylight’ (hiruma) and no other associated images, which makes it unpleasant on the ear. The Left state: we wonder about ‘Not inclining is my darling’ (katabukanu imo).

In judgement: in addition to the lack of associated images with ‘daylight’, the content of the initial line seems insufficient. Although the Right’s ‘not inclining is my darling’ is a little unclear, it seems as if her feelings are unmoved in any way. This is certainly seems like the conception of the sun being fixed overhead at noon, so the Right should win.

Love IV: 15

Left.
歸りつる今朝こそあらめいかにこは干る間も知らぬ袖の氣色ぞ

kaeritsuru
kesa koso arame
ika ni ko wa
hiru ma mo shiranu
sode no keshiki zo
Having come home
This morning, I am certain,
Why is it that
A daytime dry moment is a stranger
To my sleeves?

Lord Kanemune.
809

Right.
をのづから暮れ行く空を待つ程も頼むことゝは夢路成けり

onozukara
kureyuku sora o
matsu hodo mo
tanomu koto to wa
yumeji narikeri
While I
For darkening skies
Do wait,
The only thing in which I can place my trust
Is the path of dreams.

Jakuren.
810

The Right state: we find no particular faults to mention. The Left state: we wonder about the appropriateness of placing one’s trust in dreams during the daytime. Was he having a nap?

In judgement: the conception of the Left’s poem is well developed from beginning to end. The Right’s poem has an elegant configuration, but it is unacceptable to have the speaker napping. However, the Left’s ‘Why is it that’ (ika ni ko wa) is unsatisfactory style. I have to say the poems are equal and tie.

Love IV: 14

Left.
巳に過ぎて午こそ物は悲しけれ戀や未の歩み成らむ

mi ni sugite
muma koso mono wa
kanashikere
koi ya hitsuji no
ayuminaramu
More than I can bear, past the hour of the snake,
The hour of the horse is
All the more sad;
Love is like a sheep’s
Steps to the slaughter…

Kenshō.
807

Right (Win).
命さへ身の終りにや成ぬらん今日暮すべき心地こそせぬ

inochi sae
mi no owari ni ya
narinuran
kyō kurasubeki
kokochi koso senu
Has my very life
At the hour of snake, its end
Reached?
That I should live throughout this day,
Is something I cannot bear…

Lord Takanobu.
808

The Right state: we cannot admire the Left’s poem. The Left state: in the Right’s poem ‘Has my very life at the hour of snake, its end’ (inochi sae mi no owari) sounds as if it is referring to two different matters.

In judgement: the Left’s poem simply says that after the hour of the snake comes the hour of the horse. It is unnecessary to say such things. The final line certainly seems to have nothing to do with anything. As for the fault of the Right’s poem, ‘life’ and ‘self’ have always had different meanings. Its first line, too, sounds elegant. Once more, the Right should win.

MYS X: 2263

On rain.

九月のしぐれの雨の山霧のいぶせき我が胸誰を見ばやまむ [十月しぐれの雨降り]

nagatsuki no
shigure no ame no
yamagiri no

ibuseki a ga mune
ta o miba yamamu

[kamunazuki
shigure no ame furi]

The longest month’s
Drizzling rain
Makes mountain mist

Upon my miserable heart;
Whose sight might clear it?

[Though the Tenth Month
Is when drizzle does fall the most.]

Anonymous