obotsukana izure urago no yama naran mina kurenai ni miyuru momijiba
How strange it is— Where is Urago Mountain, I wonder? When all the same scarlet Seem the autumn leaves…
Kiyosuke 93
Right (Win)
大ゐ河きしのもみぢのちるをりは浪にたたするにしきとぞみる
ōigawa kishi no momiji no chiru ori wa nami ni tatasuru nishiki to zo miru
At the River Ōi, When the scarlet leaves upon the bank Come to fall, Cut out by the waves, Does their brocade appear!
Mikawa 94
When I listen to the Left I wonder what on earth it’s actually about—the end seems redolent of love. The Right doesn’t seem to have any particular faults, so it should win.
hitotabi wa kaze ni chirinishi momijiba o tonase no taki no nao otosu kana
Once Scattered by the wind Scarlet leaves Down the cateract at Tonase Fall once more!
Arifusa 91
Right
色ふかき紅葉うつらぬ所こそ立田の川のあさせなりけれ
iro fukaki momiji utsuranu tokoro koso tatsuta no kawa no asase narikere
Deep the hues of Scarlet leaves, reflected not In this place above all: The River Tatsuta’s Shallow rapids.
Lay Priest Sanekiyo 92
The Left appears charming, but might have been slightly improved had it been composed about pleasure boating on the Ōi. As for the Right, it is erroneous to specify the shallow rapids as a place where scarlet leave are not reflected. Taken as a whole it is inferior.
aki goto ni hamori no kami no tsuraki kana momiji o kaze ni makasu to omoeba
Every single autumn, The guardian deity of the leaves is Cruel, indeed! The scarlet leaves to the wind He does abandon, I feel…
Narinaka 89
Right
くれなゐに梢の色のかはるより風の音さへあらずなるかな
kurenai ni kozue no iro no kawaru yori kaze no oto sae arazunaru kana
Since to scarlet The treetops hues Have changed, Even the sound of the wind is Not as it was!
Tōren 90
The Left depicts things just as they are. If the Right has the same conception as the Cathay-style poem on the wind lessening every morning at Shanglin Park,[1] then it’s that one feels that after the leaves have turned, they’ll scatter, yet one has to think that, later, in summer the treetops will grow lush again, and the sounds do not resemble each other; neither of these are faults and so the round ties.
sumiyoshi no matsu fuku kaze no oto saete ura sabishiku mo sumeru tsuki kana
At Sumiyoshi The wind gusting through the pines Sounds so chill, as Sad and lonely above the shore Clear is the moon!
Lord Taira no Tsunemori Director of the Bureau of Palace Storehouses Assistant Master of the Dowager Empress’ Household Office Exalted Senior Fourth Rank, Lower Grade[1] 15
Right
やはらぐるひかりや月にそへつらむしめのうちにはてりまさりけり
yawaraguru hikari ya tsuki ni soetsuramu shime no uchi ni wa terimasarikeri
Has the God dimmed His light, that the moon, Seems to drift across, and Within the sacred bounds Shine brightest of all?
Lord Fujiwara no Yorisuke Junior Fourth Rank, Upper Grade[2] 16
The configuration and diction of the poem of the Left are easily grasped and seem to be filled with lonely sadness. The Right’s conception, in turn, expresses the essential essence of the moon over a shrine. However, I do feel that ‘the moon, / Seems to drift across’ is somewhat insufficient. In addition, the Left’s tone sounds strikingly superior, and thus it wins.
[1]Shōyon’ige-gyō kura no kami ken taikōtaigōgū no suke Taira ason Tsunemori 正四位下行内蔵頭兼太皇太后宮亮平朝臣経盛
akirakeki kami no kokoro ya taguuramu hoka yori mo ke ni sumeru tsuki kana
So bright is The Deity’s heart that, surely Close by clings More than anywhere, indeed, The moon, so clear!
Lord Fujiwara no Sanemori Supernumerary Middle Captain in the Inner Palace Guards, Right Division Exalted Senior Fourth Rank, Lower Grade[2] 14
The Left’s ‘Did He first manifest / Surely when above’ appears pleasant, but the diction of the latter part of the poem does not sound as if it does justice to the topic. The Right’s conception and diction sound as if they match the topic of the moon over the shrine, but I would have preferred a bit more technique than is in the line ‘More than anywhere, indeed’. Thus, as both contain faults the round ties once more.
sumiyoshi no matsu no muradachi kaze saete shikitsu no nami ni yadoru tsukikage
At Sumiyoshi The pines crowd together In the chilly wind, as Upon the waves at Shikitsu Lodges moonlight.
Lord Fujiwara no Sane’ie Supernumerary Middle Captain of the Inner Palace Guards, Right Division Exalted Junior Third Rank[1] 11
Right
なにはえのそこにやどれる月をみてまたすみのぼるわがこころかな
naniwae no soko ni yadoreru tsuki o mite mata suminoboru wa ga kokoro kana
At Naniwa Bay, Lodged on the bottom, The moon fills my gaze, as Once more, clearly soars My heart!
Lord Fujiwara no Atsuyori Junior Fifth Rank, Upper Grade Without Office[2] 12
In the Left’s poem, I can say that the configuration of ‘Upon the waves at Shikitsu / Lodges moonlight’ is pleasant. In the Right’s poem, saying ‘Lodged on the bottom, / The moon fills my gaze, as / Once more, clearly soars / My heart!’ appears to show deep thought but, while it appears that ‘Naniwa Bay’ encompasses Sumiyoshi, the conception of the topic expressing ‘over the shrine’ sounds somewhat vague. Then again, the Left’s tone is more in keeping with a poem for a poetry match, but it lacks any language particularly evocative of the topic, so the round ties.
yū kakuru kokochi koso sure sumiyoshi no matsu no kozue o terasu tsukikage
All hung with sacred streamers I feel they are— At Sumiyoshi The treetops of the pines Shining in the moonlight.
Lord Fujiwara no Shigenori Captain of the Outer Palace Guards, Left Division Exalted Senior Third Rank[1] 9
Right
すみよしのまつのこずゑをみわたせばこよひぞかくる月のしらゆふ
sumiyoshi no matsu no kozue o miwataseba koyoi zo kakuru tsuki no shirayū
When, at Sumiyoshi Over the treetops of the pines I pass my gaze, Hung are they, this midnight With the moon’s white sacred streamers…
Lord Fujiwara no Morikata Junior Fourth Rank, Lower Grade Without Office[2] 10
Left and Right have produced poems on the moon, both with the conception of it resembling white sacred streamers hung on the treetops of the pines, while the differences between them are charming, it does not sound as if the poem of the Right has any reason for singling out ‘this midnight’, while nothing appears lacking in the beauty of the Left’s work and thus, once more, it wins.
[1]Shōsan’i-gyō sahyōe no kami Fujiwara ason Shigenori正三位行左兵衛督藤原朝臣成範
tsukikage wa saenikerashina kamigaki ya yorube no mizu ni tsurara’iru made
The moonlight Seems so chill, that In the sacred grounds Jars of proffered water Are rimmed with icicles…
Lord Fujiwara no Kiyosuke Junior Fourth Rank, Upper Grade Without Office[1] 7
Right
つきかげにかなづるきねがころもではゆきをめぐらすここちこそすれ
tsukikage ni kanazuru kine ga koromode wa yuki o megurasu kokochi koso sure
In the moonlight Dancing, the priests’ Sleeves Stir the snow— That’s how I feel…
Lord Consultant Fujiwara no Sanetsuna Major Controller of the Left Chief Inspector of the Records of Outgoing Officials Supernumerary Governor of Awa Exalted Junior Third Rank[1] 8
In the Left’s poem, the expression ‘Jars of proffered water / Are rimmed with icicles’ appears to make for a pleasant sequence but seems to have some dubious elements. First of all, I am aware that ‘proffered water’ is mentioned in the Tale of Genji in a poem on the day of the Kamo Festival: ‘That may be, but / Even in the jars of proffered water / Might not appear’[3], but beyond that, it is not used in prior poetry.[i] The water here sounds rather crude to these ears of mine; when one is using figurative language, although it seems possible to do so about any shrine, when referring to the moon before this one, to ignore a description of ice upon the surface of the sea or the beach being spread with pure white gemstones and simply to focus on ‘jars of proffered water’ and say one feels it ‘seems so chill’—well, I do wonder about that! As for the Right’s poem, the movements of a dance have long been described as ‘flurrying snow’ in the poetry of Cathay and now here we have the moonlight appearing to ‘stir the snow’—the conception here appears truly charming, but then we have the section saying ‘Dancing, the priests’: while it’s not that this turn of phrase has never been used before, it does not sound particularly elegant. While the Left does have vague sections, its configuration as a whole is fine. Thus, I think it has to win once more.
[2]Sangi jūsan’i-gyō sadaiben ken kageyu no kami awa gonkami Fujiwara ason Sanetsuna 参議従三位行左大弁兼勘解由長官阿波権守藤原朝臣実綱
[3] This poem appears in Maboroshi 幻, the forty-first chapter of the Tale of Genji (Genji monogatari 源氏物語). It is spoken by Chūjō, one of Genji’s ladies-in-waiting, after he has found her asleep, with her clothing in disorder one morning and flirtatiously suggested, as she has struggled to get dressed, that it has been so long since he has made love that he has forgotten how. She replies: さもこそはよるべの水に水草ゐめけふのかざしよ名さへ忘るる sa mo koso wa / yorube no mizu ni / mizukusa ime / kyō no kazashi yo / na sae wasururu ‘That may be, but / In the jars of proffered water / Waterweed grows old, perhaps, yet / To say that the blossom in your hair today / Has had its name forgotten? Really…’ (Genji monogatari 573). Genji is charmed by this reply and the narrator dryly notes, ‘He seemed not to have rejected her at least’ (Tyler 2001, 773) (hitori bakari wa oboshihanatanu keshiki nari 一人ばかりをば思し放たぬけしきなり (Imaizumi, Mori, and Wokazaki 1976, 872)). The version of the poem Shunzei quotes comes from an alternate version of the Genji text, which is now not regarded as authoritative.
[i] Kubota et al. (2024, 427) note that Shunzei is mistaken here, as there are prior examples of related expressions’ usage, by Izumi Shikibu, among others. For example: …she folded some paper into the shape of an offering, wrote this upon it and sent it.神かけてきみはあらがふたれかさはよるべにたまる水といひける kami kakete / kimi wa aragau / tare ka sa wa / yorube ni tamaru / mizu to iikeru ‘Before the Gods / My Lord, dispute with you / Who would? ‘Twould be as / Proffered jars filling / With water…’ (Izumi Shikibu-shū 109).
sumiyoshi no matsu no yukiai no tsukikage wa kumoma ni izuru kokochi koso sure
At Sumiyoshi, Pine boughs entwine, and The moonlight Emerges from between the clouds— That’s how it feels!
Lord Fujiwara no Sanekuni Supernumerary Middle Counsellor Captain of the Palace Guards, Left Division Exalted Senior Third Rank[2] 6
Both Left and Right, having the same conception contemplating ‘pine boughs entwine’, appear charming. ‘Emerges from between the clouds’ truly does sound as if it captures the moment, but the Left’s use of ‘even’ in ‘even from the gaps between’ show a deep knowledge of the world of poetry,[3] and thus, again, the Left wins.
[2]Shōsan’i-gyō gonchūnagon ken saemon no kami Fujiwara ason Sanekuni 正三位行権中納言兼左衛門督藤原朝臣実国
[3] Shunzei is praising Shun’e for his knowledge of earlier poems. Shun’e’s work builds on: 夜やさむき衣やうすきかたそぎのゆきあひのまより霜やおくらむ yo ya samuki / koromo ya usuki / katasogi no / yukiai no ma yori / shimo ya okuramu ‘Is it the night’s chill, or / My scanty robe: / Where the ridge poles of My shrine / Entwine, from the gaps between / Frost does seem to fall.’ This poem is said to be by the deity of Sumiyoshi (SKKS XIX: 1855). By adding in ‘even’ (mo) to the phrase he has taken from the deity’s work, Shun’e adds to it, saying that frost falls not only from the gaps in the shrine roof, but also from between the pine boughs outside. Shunzei’s judgement acknowledges the deep knowledge of prior poetry needed for this type of usage.
niwabi taku atari o nurumi oku shimo no tokenu ya tsuki no hikari naruramu
Braziers kindled shed Warmth all around, so That the fallen frost Melts not, due to the moon’s Light might be?
Lord Fujiwara no Sanefusa Major Counsellor Exalted Junior Second Rank[i] 3
Right
ひとすぢにあふぐこころをすみよしのそらゆく月にわけぞやらるる
hito suji ni ōgu kokoro o sumiyoshi no sora yuku tsuki ni wake zo yararuru
With my whole Heart I worship Sumiyoshi, for He The moon travelling through the skies Has dispensed!
Lord Minamoto no Yorimasa Supernumerary Master of the Right Capital Office Exalted Junior Fourth Rank, Upper Grade[ii] 4
The Left’s poem has a novel conception, while appearing to use familiar diction. The Right’s emotions, whereby whole-hearted faith sees the moon as provided by the deity when seeing it, also sound extremely charming, yet, still, the configuration of ‘melts not, the moon’ appears more in keeping with a poem for a poetry match, and thus the Left wins.
