Left (Win).
偽のしるしと杉を三輪の山訪ひつゝ來たる甲斐しなければ
| itsuwari no shirushi to sugi o miwa no yama toitsutsu kitaru kai shinakereba |
How false! For proof to the cedars On Mount Miwa Have I come visiting many times To no purpose. |
655
Right.
三輪の山杉立つ門を訪へとだに頼めぬ道に迷ころかな
| miwa no yama sugi tatsu kado o toe to dani tanomenu michi ni mayoi koro kana |
On Mount Miwa My gate where cedars stand Come visit – not even That have you asked, so my way Have I lost… |
656
Both Right and Left can find no fault with the other’s poem.
Shunzei’s judgement: Both poems refer to Mount Miwa, and it is, perhaps a bit regrettable [kuchioshiku] that the Left uses the phrase ‘How false! For proof’ (itsuwari no shirushi)in this context. In the Right’s ‘my gate where cedars stand’ (sugi tatsu kado) , tatsu sounds insufficient as diction [kotoba, koto tarazu kikoyu]. The Left’s poem, moreover, is tasteful in form [utazama yū naru].