Love VI: 4

Left.
物思ふと月ゆへならで月を見て幾夜くもらぬ空もくもりぬ

mono’omou to
tsuki yue narade
tsuki o mite
ikuyo kumoranu
sora mo kumorinu
My gloomy thoughts
Are not for the moon;
The moon I saw
For many nights, unclouded,
The skies, now clouded.

Lord Ari’ie.
907

Right (Win).
いかにして殘る心のありければ人をうらみて月を見るらん

ika ni shite
nokoru kokoro no
arikereba
hito o uramite
tsuki o miruran
What is it that
In my heart remains
That
Hating her
I gaze upon the moon?

Ietaka.
908

The Right state: we find no faults to mention in the Left’s poem. The Left state: the Right’s poem is outstandingly good.

In judgement: it has been stated that the Left’s poem lacks faults, but having ‘Are not for the moon; the moon I saw’ (tsuki yue narade tsuki o mite), ‘unclouded’ (kumoranu) and then ‘clouded’ (kumorinu) is a superfluity of similar vocabulary, which is most disquieting. I wonder, too, the basis on which the Right’s poem can be judged outstandingly good? ‘In my heart remains that’ (nokoru kokoro no arikereba) sounds like a most unacceptable configuration, and overall, I am unable to grasp its meaning. Thus, I will judge according to the Gentlemen of the Left’s remarks, and make the Right the winner.

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