Round Six

Left (M – Tie)

さもこそは槙のまやぶき薄からめもるばかりにもうつ時雨かな

samo koso wa maki no mayabuki usukarame moru bakari ni mo utsu shigure kana

Truly, A roof of cedar boughs Seems scanty, for It simply leaks when Struck by a shower!

Lord Morotoshi
11

Right (T – Win)

木の葉のみ染むるかとこそおもひしに時雨は人のみにしみにけり

ko no ha nomi somuru ka to koso omoishi ni shigure wa hito no mi ni shiminikeri

‘Is it the leaves upon the trees alone It dyes?’ I wondered once, but A shower on folk’s Flesh does leave a mark…

Lord Masamitsu
12

Toshiyori states: the first poem deliberately starts with ‘A roof of cedar boughs’ and then concludes with ‘Struck by a shower’ which is vague. It does sound like the poet might have had ‘the lonely sighing sound of rain beating against my window’ in mind when composing. In any case, this is something which would have been better avoided. If he wished to compose on this sort of thing, and had done so without this element, then the poem would not be unpleasant. As for the Right, well, this does sound somewhat scanty! Still, what kind of colour might the poet’s flesh be marked? If it was the colour of the leaves, then this would be pretentious, wouldn’t it. If he wanted to refer to the hue of the wind in the pines, then why didn’t he say so? As a composition about a shower, though, this sounds slightly better.

Mototoshi states: having such a thin roof of cedar boughs struck by a passing shower feels frightening for the people under it. At the beginning of the world, rain as thick as axles fell, I hear—what a terrifying shower that must have been! The expression ‘rain beating against my window’ occurs in a poem from Cathay, referring, it seems, to rain blown by the wind horizontally striking one’s fence. Thus, it does sound extremely moving to compose about rains striking one’s window and keeping one awake, but, then again, while it’s certainly true that showers dye the treetops on the mountains in all directions, what sort of mark would they leave on a person’s flesh? It sounds like the old tale of the well-warden’s sign, doesn’t it! This round, both poems are about the same.